Sleep.

It's a beautiful thing.  So I am doing a lot of it.  Slept for 7.5 hours last night and took a nap this afternoon.  And will probably be in bed by 12:30 tonight.  LOVE holidays.  And I've been blessed to not feel that antsy feeling at all yet. Maybe I really do need a vacation every once in a while! :)

Today:
S: 7.5 hours
W: 143.6
E: 20 minute inside jog, pm yoga
10:30 banana
12:30 Zupa's nuts about berries salad and tuscan white bean veggie soup, bread
4:30 banana with walnuts
9:00 3 baskets of fries with fry sauce (my new go-to thing at Red Robin...only like $3 for bottomless fries...who needs a hamburger?!)

Why.

I have been on a major binge streak for too long.  I was thinking it was just in the last couple of weeks, but looking back over my goal charts, it's been going on for longer than that.  October was mostly in the 130s.  I started eating more and exercising less in November, and it's just gotten worse from there.

I don't know if I'm using food to punish myself, to numb myself, etc., but I do know that I'm not living up to my potential, that I'm not feeling as good as I need or want to.

I need to do this so that I can be closer to my Heavenly Father.  That is my why.  Here's to new beginnings.

Today:
S: 5 hours
W: 148.2/147.6
E: 25 minute walk/run (it felt SO GOOD to be outside and MOVING!), essentrics a/a
10:30 hot water and lemon
1:00 half a cafe rio veggie salad (lunch with Elizabeth F.)
4:30 a banana, the rest of my cafe rio salad with part of a palta and some lemon juice added.

Eating the World

I tried to today.

S: 7 hours
E: n/a
W: 144.8
12:00 banana
1:30 nachos (no meat, though) and coconut chex mix
3:00 6 cookies
7:30 cafe rio veggie salad, ice cream, circus cookies
12:00 chips and hummus, cheesecake

Completely, and for good.

My friend Mary blogs and today her post was about the conversion of Scrooge.  She talked about how the spirits show Scrooge what he needs to do, and he changes completely, and for good.

I so know what I need to do for my health.  I've been hearing more cancer stories, and by-pass references, and diabetes scares.  And usually that's enough to get me back on the health band-wagon.  But not lately.  I've eaten too much every day for the last month, probably.  I eat until I'm physically hurting.  And it doesn't heal my emotional hurts either.  I don't know what to do to help me change completely, and for good.  Maybe having a schedule and sticking to it?

Today:
S: ?
E: n/a
W: 144.6
12:00 spring mix, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, chili, a banana
4:00 a banana
5:00 2 containers of hummus with corn chips, butterscotch clusters from Miss Grace

Bingey Monday.

Today:
S: ?
W: 143.4
E: n/a
12:00 2 bananas
5:30 spring mix, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, palta, chili, several cookies
8:00  cookies and frosting and milk
10:15 samosa wrap

Chipping away.

My amazing friend Jordan posted this on fb today:

"Supposedly, when asked how he carved the famous 'David' statue, Michelangelo explained that he just had to chip away the pieces that weren't part of David.  I feel like this happens when we go through trials...they refine us.  My heard definitely goes out to friends and strangers that are having a rough time right now. Hang in there!"

I have been doing things that aren't a part of the real me.  Eating things I shouldn't because they don't make me feel my best, doesn't help me feel the Spirit.  I will keep trying.

Today:
S: 6 hours?
W: 142.4
E: pm yoga
12:00 banana
4:00 cookie dough, cookies, salad
5:45 crackers with cheese and summer sausage
9:00 peanut butter balls, pound cake, milk

Healing

It's something that the world needs, that the families and friends in CT need, that each person needs.

Sometimes I'm better than others at letting myself heal.

Today:
S: 9 hours
W: 140.2
E: pm yoga
12:00 2 bananas and walnuts
2:00 spinach and fiesta mix, another banana
4:00 chips, chili, a cookie, a little cake
4:30 batch of marshmellow popcorn