Ballerunner!

Beth and I had a fantastic day today.  Slept in until 8, got ready, and went to the temple together.  That is a miracle right there:  We have so many temples, and more and more are being built.  It is such a haven of peace and rest, light, and revelation.  I LOVE to see the temple!  On the way there we (meaning mostly Beth.  She's the clever one)  coined a new phrase "Ballerunner," because I was talking about the five finger running shoes, and told Beth that some people call them toe shoes, and that I always wanted to be a ballerina!  So we decided that I get to be a ballerunner instead. :) After going to the temple we ate Cafe Rio (hooray for asking for what you want!) and then we went to a new-to-us running store, 26.2, where I bought new Vibram Five-finger Sprint shoes.  I AM IN LOVE!
After we came home I got sucked into organizing my room, and getting rid of things, and didn't make time to do essentrics or go on a longish run.  But I DID go for a mile and a quarter in the new shoes (I'll have to name them, of course.  Pooja and Priya have been there for me for a while now, and I need to name my new Vibrams too!)  Can I just say that the people behind these things were seriously inspired?  You get all the benefits of barefoot running (light, energetic, close to the earth) with none of the down-sides (no scuffed toes, or rock-induced blood blisters with these babies!).  I didn't get the warmest kind, and a few of my toes were slightly chilled, but nothing serious.  I love that people are always trying to make things better.  I think it comes from our divine nature...we are always meant to be more than we are right now.
I'm excited for this new year.  I want to be leaner, stronger, and faster.  I want to be closer to God, and more loving towards others.  And if it just so happens that I meet Prince Charming and get married, so be it!  :) Yay for 2012!
Other miracles:  Got a letter from BYU.  Yes, I have another scholarship.  That means that I only have to pay $620 for tuition, instead of $1440.  Bendiciones!!! Tender Mercies!!! Miracles.
With Mandy giving me her gorgeous bike, (I did give her $10 for it, but she wouldn't take any more!) when I take my Walmart bike back on Monday, I'll have a bike and Vibrams for the cost of my Walmart bike.   Who just gets to do that?

Today's stats:
W: 140.4 (I'll be using a new scale starting tomorrow)
E: 1.25 miles in 12-13 minutes...yes I'm slow, but I was out and moving!!, yoga
B: n/a
L: Cafe Rio:  cilantro lime rice, black beans, lettuce, cilantro, pico de gallo, and guacamole, delish!
S: bananas (probably ate 3 today) and peanut butter

The journey of a thousand miles...begins with one pedal?

Today I found out that my old beater blew a head gasket.  It would cost $1,000 to fix, and it was only $1,300 to begin with.  I don't have extra money (have to refund the deposit for my roommate who is moving out and pay tuition) so I'm not going to fix it, or buy a new car yet.  Beth and I went to Walmart this afternoon and I bought a bike.

A couple of days ago, my friend Sam posted that he no longer owns a vehicle.  Someone asked him what he's getting, and he said "Exercise and less debt."  I thought at the time that I should do something like that (knowing that my car was having problems, and wanting less debt and more exercise).  Now I get to!

I've had mixed feelings about this...I'm excited to be closer to getting out of debt (I have some on my credit card, and will have to do a short term loan for tuition, and then there's the mortgage), but even though it's been an incredibly mild winter, it is still Utah, and it's still winter.  I'm a creature of comfort, and this is outside my comfort zone!  However, I just need to take it one day at a time.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  My work is only 1.5 miles away, and campus is only 1.5 miles away (in the other direction), so the farthest I'll ever have to ride is on Wednesdays when I'll go from home to school, to home, to campus and back home.  The grocery store is also less than a mile away, and if I have to go to the mall to meet with my committee chair, that's about 2 to 2.5 miles away from school or from home.  I can do this!!

AND, here's a miracle from today:  Mandy has a bike that's been sitting in her garage that she wants to give me!  So I can take the bike I bought today back to the store and use hers.  BENDICIONES!  AND this will help me reach my goal of being leaner and stronger and getting down to my ideal weight by May 8th, which will be the one year anniversary of the first day of my Eat to Live journey.  AND I've been wanting to spend more time outside and do things to help the environment, and this will help me to do both of those things.

On our way back from Mandy's house tonight, Beth rode the bike and I ran...I think we may have discovered a way that we can exercise together that will push both of us...it was great, and I had to run faster than I have for a while. (and I ran barefoot:)  LOVED it!

Today's stats:
W: 141.4 (a bag of chips and 2 containers of hummus will do that to you!)
E: essentrics a/a, walk to Mandy's/run back from Mandy's, pm yoga
B: banana
L: salad: spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, palta, chili
D: several bananas, 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter

Forever Strong

Per my father's recommendation, I watched the movie Forever Strong today. There were some great things in there that I need to record to remember in the future:

When are you going to first string yourself?

Need to run it out.

It's not about them, it's about you. It's about being the best you can be.

Champions in life

You spend a whole lot of time in the gym. You work your hardest with a complete commitment to do your best. You eat smart, get enough sleep, and you work your tail off and someday, someday you can have a body like mine.

Learning to listen, that takes a lot of discipline---Listen right.

Kia Kaha: Forever Strong

I keep talking about how I'm excited to do essentrics, how I need to run, etc, but I'm not putting things in place to do that. I haven't been doing my best. I haven't been listening to God, or to my body...I've been blocking them out through overexposure to media and lack of consciously tuning in. One of my friends from AZ had a goal this year to recognize and record miracles every day. I want to do that. I renamed my blog accordingly. Here's to a new start, a new day, a day of recognizing and participating in miracles.

Today's stats:

W: 139.4

E: 2 mile jog/walk, pm yoga

B: n/a

L: smoothie and a banana

S: banana

D: 2 packages of hummus and a bag of corn chips

Need more sleep!

So after all that weighing in at home and at Edwards' and hoping that their scale was right...M and F's was closer:) but it's all good. It'll come off as I start exercising again, and quit eating such large portions. One thing I need to work on is getting regular, consistent sleep. Last night I got about 4 hours...not the best. In Lean and Free, Dana says that sometimes when someone is doing everything else right and the pounds aren't coming off, it's because their body is too stressed by the lack of sleep, and that when they start getting enough sleep, the weight just comes off. Need to try that!

Today's stats:

W: 139.4

E: yoga

B: banana

L: spinach, tomatoes, 2 palta, chili, cilantro, 2 clementine oranges

D: Rice and Bindhi Aloo

Sticking up for me!

I'm getting better at knowing what I want and asking for it. Tonight Beth and I went to Denny's for dinner on the way home to Utah from our fabulous Christmas break with family. Did you know that there are maybe three things on that menu that can be remotely construed as Eat to Live worthy? And all of them required adjustments. I ended up getting a veggie burger with salsa and avocado, and a side of veggies. I was impressed with the veggies...some restaurants have just the limp frozen veggies. These were fresh and good. And the burger was one of the best veggie burgers I've had. I have yet to ask someone at a restaurant to try again with my order when they don't get it right (salad without dressing or cheese really shouldn't be that difficult people!), but I'm so glad when people listen! As Beth said, I'm worth it!

Today's stats:

W: 139 (M and F's scale)

E: yoga...so excited to exercise tomorrow!

B: green smoothie

L: ? probably bread, peanut butter and honey. I also ate some plain popcorn and some fruit.

D: banana, veggie burger with lettuce, palta and pico de gallo.

Ready for Reality?

I'm eating more than I need, but still pretty good-for-me foods, and am excited to EXERCISE tomorrow! I brought my essentrics dvd home but lack of schedule, and tight quarters in our little house make it difficult to do. Reality is coming back (or rather Beth and I are returning to reality) tomorrow night...Not sure if I'm ready for the homework part of it. Pretty sure I can't wait for the exercise part of it!

Today's stats:
W: 138 (M and F's scale), 132 according to Edwards'!
E: yoga
B: green smoothie
S: nuts, lots and lots of them
L/D: dal, rice, bread, peanut butter, honey, beets, sweet potatoes, mixed veggies, lots of crackers.

Merry Christmas!

I LOVE Christmas, and especially loved being able to go to church on Christmas day. I think the best part was watching the kids in my family's ward...one of my reasons for trying to be healthier is so that I can be a better Mother when that time comes. I'm praying for help to be able to give the gift of eating to live to my Heavenly Father and my Savior as a demonstration of gratitude for all they have given and give to me.

Today's stats:
W: 137 (M and F's scale)
E: yoga
B: green smoothie
L/D: rolls, peanut butter, dal, brown rice, lettuce, sweet potato, beets, bananas, orange, lots of nuts.

Christmas Gifts to God

For Christmas we sometimes talk about the gifts that we are going to give God instead of the gifts we are receiving. I've been thinking about this for a while, and have some things that I feel I need to give to God this year. As usual, they are things that will bless me in the end...keeping God's commandments always blesses us. Here are my gifts to God for Christmas:

Health: Eat to Live every day, run (going to train for a Marathon), do essentrics 6 days/week, yoga everyday.

Temple: Go at least every week. Focus on covenants.

Charity: Love as Christ does. See, not sort. Look again and love. Choose to think the best of people.

I'll be reporting on my health gifts here, and feel like being more healthy and going to the temple will help me have a greater portion of the Spirit, and be more charitable and Christ-like, which I always need to work on.

I WILL GIVE THESE GIFTS TO GOD AS A DEMONSTRATION OF MY GRATITUDE FOR THE GIFT OF HIS DIVINE SON.

When I mess up (as I know I will), He will help me get up and keep going. BENDICIONES!!!

Today's stats:
W: 140 (M and F's scale)
E: yoga
B: green smoothie and bananas
L: orange, lettuce, tomato, black beans, 3-4 rolls through out the day
D: dal, brown rice, beets, sweet potatoes, green beans, salad (lettuce, sunflower seeds, olives, tomatoes, carrots.)

Strong enough to do without.

In spite of being at home, I ate totally ETL style, with the exception of eating a lot of bread and peanut butter. No added oils, no meat (haven't had that since October 17th, and haven't missed it!) and no sugar. I always feel SOOOOOO much better as soon as I cut those things out. (With the exception of the occassional withdrawal headache).
I've been reading Geneen Roth's Food, Women and God. She talks about food being a drug and how we use it to avoid situations, our pasts, or who we are or aren't to ourselves and others. I also finished Matched (and Crossed) by Ally Condie today. Cassia chooses to not take the tablets that are provided by the Society, because her grandfather has told her that she's strong enough to go without them. I don't use food as a drug as often as I used to, but when I give into what Society says about food, that I deserve to have meat, dairy, etc, or that everyone else is eating sugar so I should too, it dulls me and I binge. I act like my student at school who gives up and shuts down when he thinks he's in trouble: I think that if I eat one cookie or one slice of cheese that I've already ruined my day of eating to live, so I might as well binge big time. I need to be like Ky and Cassia, who realize that they've both made mistakes, and try to make it better instead of letting themselves drown in bad decisions.

Today's stats:
W: 141 (M and F's scale)
E: yoga
B: green smoothie and toast with peanut butter
L and D: beans, bread, peanut butter, agave, bananas

Home at last!

I read a book called Matched this week. It's about a girl in a Totalitarian government who falls in love with someone besides the person the Officials tell her to. The government has power over the people because they control all of the food. Cassia starts to question other things about the government when she realizes that she's doubly matched. It's got me thinking about what I believe without questioning it. I think it's in Forks Over Knives that they talk about how the government has promoted meat and dairy as healthy, when they really aren't. I need to be more critical in my thinking.
I've eaten better today than I did yesterday. I'm thinking again about a year of Eat to Live. Christmas present to HF?

Today's stats:
W: 141.6
E: pm yoga
B: banana
L: salad (spinach, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes) banana, spoonful of peanut butter
D: orange, toast with peanut butter and honey, toast with garlic powder.

Wedding binge

It's never a good idea to begin your eating of the day with a tray of cookies! So most of the cookies were on a tray I was arranging at that point, but I ate many more later, as well. I did have a salad (didn't give in to the meat seduction!) and my body felt so much better having some real, good food in it. I need to figure out how to be as fiel to Eat to Live as I am about not eating chocolate. How?

Today's stats:

W: 141

B: n/a

L: cookies, lettuce with salsa, tomatoes, and olives. LOTS more cookies

S: J's sweet chex mix

D: can of chili.

Confession from yesterday: I ate a piece of carrot cake at the wedding that I forgot to report. :)

Yikes! Need to recommit

How do you decide on something and stick to it? I feel like lately I make a decision and then stick to it...for about 5 minutes, if that! I'm needing some serious help in the stick-with-it department right now. Eating right and I are like repelling magnets right now!

Today's stats:

W: 140.4

E: yoga

B: n/a

L: banana, and LOTS of cheese pizza

D: tomatoes, jalapeno poppers and cheese sticks.

With me it's all or nothin!

I did well until dinner time. Some restaurants just don't listen. No cheese means no cheese. And when I ask for the cheese to be left off, that doesn't mean leave off the tomatoes too! It started with the salad, but I let it escalate from there. Put the dressing on the salad, ate fried mushrooms and zuchinni, then lots of fries with fry sauce. The binge didn't stop at home...I ate cinnamon roll dough and frosting. I'm sure THAT will make me feel better in my dress for my little brother's wedding tomorrow! And it's after 3am and I'm not in bed yet, so sleep deprivation will be a lovely addition to my beauty as well! Ha!

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga

B and L: green smoothies

D: salad with cheese and dressing, fried veggies, fries, dough and frosting.

I love Sundays!

Sundays are often days of social eating. We have what we call "munch and mingle" after church, where we go to munch and mingle! The food is rarely ETL approved, so I've learned to mingle without the munching most of the time. I did eat nachos tonight, but only with ETL toppings... no cheese or meat! I do need to work on how much I eat. Whenever corn chips are involved, I eat too much. :)

Today's stats:

W: 138.4

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: salad (spinach, tomatoes, palta, chili, mushrooms) and 2 bananas

S: nachos with palta, salsa, refried beans and black beans. Ate too much!!

Any diet that...

Any diet that allows me to eat Indian food twice in one week (or at all, really!) is more than livable...it's lovable. And I often lose on IP days too...gotta love it!

Today's stats:

W: 140 (midnight or later snacks do that!)

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L/D: aloo gobi and rice

S: tomatoes, carrots and wheat thins

S: 2 bananas with peanut butter (resisted a third).

Feedback

The other day I was thinking about feedback. I think it was Wednesday night during class, and we were talking about how you have to be ready for feedback, or it has to be solicited, or the person's choice before it's ever really accepted. I thought about my body and how it gives me feedback. I feel better when I exercise (lithe, light, free) and when I eat well (strong, healthy, full of potential). I believe that there will be a day of accountability for everything that we choose to do on earth. And I feel like consciously eschewing those things that are bad for my body, and thus make it harder for me to feel the Spirit, is a good thing. I'm not perfect at it, obviously, but I'm going to keep trying.

Today's stats:

W: 138.2

B: herbal tea

L: peanut butter and apples, banana, grapes

S: chili

D: spinach, chili, mushrooms, tomatoes, cilantro, palta, banana

S: banana (none of the cookies I made at John's request...not even a butterscotch acorn! I can do this !!!)

S: can of chili and corn chips.

Another day, another several dollars' worth of bindi aloo

Did pretty well today. Happy in spite of wearing glasses to let my irritated eye have a break. Ok with the fact that I may well flunk my content area literacy class. Got to see A Christmas Carol with a great guy. The play reminds me of how I spent some of the time I should have been spending on homework. It was with people, and they matter most. Todo saldra bien!

Today's stats:

W: 139

E: yoga

B: strawberry green smoothie

L: peach green smoothie

D: rice, bindi aloo, banana

S: banana

on failing

There is a very real chance that I might not be passing one of my classes. D's don't get degrees in grad school, and that's my current grade, not considering the one assignment that I've revamped, or the essay that doesn't look anything like those belonging to my peers, or the assignments that I will be up half the night revamping. I'm hoping and praying for a miracle: that I won't have to retake the class Spring term. But that might be my reality. However, I'm not sad or upset, or even tempted to beat myself up about it, which is a change from how I used to be. I can learn from this and be better next time. And that's how it is with anything, including my diet. The purpose of failure, the purpose of falling is to see how you'll react, to see if you'll turn to God, to see if you'll pick yourself up with His help and just keep going. I did better today than I did yesterday. I'll do better tomorrow than I did today. And if I don't, there's always the day after. Life is about changing and becoming. Todo saldra bien!

Today's stats:

W: 140.4

B: n/a

L: salad-spinach, chili, tomatoes, mushrooms

D: bananas and peanut butter...more than once. 4-5 corn chips with chipotle dressing. More pb and bananas.

always filling, never full

How do you commit to something for life? I'm still full time vegetarian, and I haven't eaten anything non-vegan today, but I binged. It's been a life-long habit...I remember when I was young, my cousin and I once ate so much that we had to sit on the floor, just clutching our distended stomachs and groaning in pain because we were so full. I've used food as a crutch when I'm lonely, or don't want to do something I need to do, or when I need or want to stay up to finish something when what my body really needs is sleep, or when I'm in a social situation and I feel like I have to keep eating because I'm out of things to say, or I feel like I'll somehow be deprived if I don't eat as much, if not more than anybody else. However, when I eat like that, I'm never really satisfied. It doesn't make me feel good emotionally, physically or spiritually. Lately, though, it seems easier to do...stressed with finals, I know, but still!

So, I'm going to pray for help to Eat to Live. I have upon occasion, but it's more often thanking Heavenly Father for helping me find ETL, or asking for help to lose weight. I can't force my body to lose weight, but I can provide the conditions that will lead to optimal health, and thus probably more weight loss. I also wonder if I'm afraid of success...It seems like every time I get to a new low on weight, I have a binge day. I need to quite sabotaging myself, quit trying to get happiness from something that can't bring it. I need to be fit to serve.

Today's stats:

W: 138.8

E: yoga

B and L: green smoothies

D: spinach, salsa, mushrooms, chili beans, banana

S: corn chips, hummus (2 packages), piece of bread with pb and agave/honey, 2 cookies

Day 1:)

of the rest of my life...and of my year of Eat to Live. I've done it enough to know that I can make it work in social situations, and that when I choose to eat in a non-ETL way, it's just that MY CHOICE. So, today I chose/choose to eat to live.

Today's stats:

W: 140

E: yoga, essentrics arms and abs

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: costa vida salad: tortilla, rice, black beans, lettuce, pico de gallo, and guacamole...Delicious! I also ate a banana when I got home.

recommitting

Last night I binged again (not more than what I wrote about, though). Today in church, a lot of what hit me all seemed to come back to me taking better care of myself physically. I'm happier, closer to God, and more loving to everyone, when I'm being intentional about taking care of my body. I know I feel better when I Eat To Live. I know I feel better when I do essentrics, and when I run or hike, especially outside. So today is a day of deciding again. I will nourish, not punish my body. I will live worthy of the the Spirit by treasuring and nurturing my body. The Relief Society lesson today was on judgment. One of the lines in the lesson talked about the kingdoms that our choices will obtain for us. In the last few days, I have not been making the choices that will help me obtain my goal of a fit-as-I-can-be, ready-for-marriage-and-motherhood sort of body. I thought of maybe doing ETL for a year. I'm having a hard time doing it for more than a couple of weeks at most, but maybe a year commitment would help me begin with the end in mind.

Today's stats:

W: 141.8

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: 3 pieces of pizza, 2 molasses cookies with cream cheese frosting. Several sugarplums, ginger snaps, peanut butter ball, cupcake, popcorn.

TOMORROW: A new start! :)

Final binge continued...

Another day of binging...I did pretty well for the first part, but then let popcorn and pizza do me in.

Today's stats:

W: 141.8

B: fruit

L: n/a

D: green smoothie

S: lots of sugary, buttery popcorn, and veggie pizza.

Binge

Tonight I ate like I was starving...food I didn't want and was not under any social pressure to eat. I used to stress eat a lot, but haven't as much with ETL. Tonight I gave in though, and binged hardcore. I don't feel better. I don't think it gave me any advantage in staying awake for homework. I can't do it anymore. Just because I can doesn't mean I should.

Today's stats:

W: 137.2

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie + chips and salsa at PLCs

D: HH's molasses cookies, cream cheese frosting, chips, salsa, and hummus, and a big salad.

The stars have aligned...

Or I'm just incredibly blessed. SO BLESSED. Today was amazing. School wasn't the best ever, because I was stressed about getting things ready for my meeting with my grad committee, but I still loved and helped my kids, and they still love me. My meeting was GREAT! And my committee believes in me. For real. And then after some b-day chatting with my dad, a quick visit with my friend Natalie, and a phone conversation with a soon-to-be blind date (I knew before looking who it was when both Nat and the boy called), Beth and I went to the library and checked out the 38 books that I will be spending my weekend reading and writing about. I just finished the first one. And yes, it was about some of my favorite things lately...academic learning, romance, and eating a plant-based diet. It also had some good lines in it. LOVELY when the thing that you have to do is the thing that you want to do. The only things that could have made today better are more exercise time, and a good, meant-to-be kiss of my own:)

Today's stats:

W: 138.6 (last night's binge was probably a big part of today's shorter patience with my kids, t00)

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: brown rice, dal, 5 vegan, sugar free molasses cookies (HH recipe)

Grad school barbie...

So this might seem totally unrelated to food (until you think about the fact that I have a million projects due in the next week, and then take a peek at the amount and kinds of food I ate today!) but I had to share: http://ceejandem.blogspot.com/2010/02/graduate-school-barbie-tm.html

Today's stats:

W: 135.2 (pretty sure I've gained at least a couple of pounds today...)

E: yoga, essentrics a/a, no cardio

B: green smoothie

L: brown rice, dal, apple slices, peanut butter

D: green smoothie, fruit and nut trail mix, wheat thins

S: chips, salsa, hummus and lots of it, two bananas, and I think I had more PB somewhere in there.

On a positive note, I did NOT eat the cream cheese frosting that I was tempted to...so I still was totally vegan in spite of the crazy amounts and processed nature of my food today.

Your negativity unmasks you.

One of the breaks I take during the day is to check Lindsay Nixon's Happy Herbivore blog. I love it. Not only does she have great, simple, inexpensive Eat-to-Live-friendly recipes, but she's witty and smart. Today I read a post on HH from a while back, about dealing with negativity towards veganism. My favorite part of the whole thing was where Lindsay talked about how our negativity reveals our own fears, jealousies, insecurities, etc.

This blog is primarily about eating right and nurturing my body into a better state of health. However, I think that our spiritual/emotional and physical selves are very closely tied, and if one is suffering, it affects the others.

I'm 30 and in my LDS culture that's pretty old to be unmarried. I've always wanted to get married and have a family. So the fact that my 26 year old brother and his wife are expecting their second baby; my 24 year old brother and his wife of 2 months are expecting a baby; and my 22 year old brother is getting married this month is kind of hard to swallow. I'm happy for their happiness, and I'm happy in my own life/skin, but when they don't show that they value or respect me or my opinion/schedule/life, it's tough. And I give into negativity. I'm trying to identify what it is that I'm lacking confidence in. Maybe it's because when they get to get married and I don't, I begin to think that there is something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough, or that because I'm not perfectly happy with the idea that they're getting married and having babies, and I'm not, I'm not earning my right to get married in the future! I don't know. But I think that in some ways I am better qualified to be married (I have a degree, and a job, and a house...none of them have any of those...the 22 year old might have an associate's, and the 24 year old works with my dad) and I let that make me bitter sometimes.

HOWEVER, one of the bright spots in my life right now is my health. I have yet to get really sick this year. I'm at my lowest weight since probably June 1999. And I have energy to do what I need to do. I love knowing that I know what to do to truly nurture and nourish my body (Eat to Live, cardio, essentrics), and that I'm doing it. It feels good spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And it gives me hope that I can overcome negativity and obstacles in other areas of my life because it's been such a long journey to discovering what works best for me in the health arena, but it's working, and I feel SO BLESSED.

Today's stats:

W: 135.2

E: yoga, L/B essentrics, 20 minutes of running in place

B: strawberry green smoothie

L: peach green smoothie

D: brown rice and chola

S: banana and spoonful of peanut butter

Sharing the love!

Today after school, one of my co-workers asked me "What are you doing to get so skinny?" She said that I'm looking really skinny and that she has about 20 pounds that she needs to lose. (I forgot that last Wednesday my friend Katie said that I'm really skinny too.) My co-worker said she has tried everything (high protein, HCG, etc.) and can lose, but then gains it all back, plus some, as soon as she goes off the diet. I told her that I basically eat fruit, veggies, and grain, and that I have a book called Eat to Live, and an extra copy that I bought specifically to share with people when they ask about it! I don't want to push my way of life on others, but I do want to be willing and ready to share if/when they want to know. I told her that I don't eat meat or dairy, and she seemed a little shocked...I said that I'd been leery at first, that it seemed too strict, but that when I tried it, I loved it. I also said that I got into it not just for the weight loss (she said that she needed to lose a lot...20 lbs, and I told her that I've lost about 25 lbs since April) but for the health side of it, that I have a history of diabetes and cancer in my family and that this diet reverses diabetes and prevents cancer. I'm excited to take her my extra copy tomorrow!!

Today's stats:

W: 136.6

E: yoga, essentrics a/a, 20 minute jog in place

B: green smoothie (strawberries, banana, spinach, agave, soy milk and spices)

L: green smoothie (banana, peaches, spinach)

D: 2 bananas, brown rice, and HH's Chola (3rd official recipe I've made from HH...after Pumpkin Pie smoothies, and pumpkin muffins...all SUCH good stuff!)

And I wasn't really even tempted to eat the sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting at FHE!

transition time...

I was released from being Relief Society President today. The last two years have been such a learning experience. I'm far from perfect, but I try, and I love. I was also sustained for my new calling, which is an FHE co-chair. I'll be working with Todd, Mallory and Preston to help group leaders. In my setting-apart blessing, Brother Sandberg said something about this time of transition into combining fhe and ward missionary efforts. I had to smile. I've noticed a pattern of being involved in transitions...My first weekend in the MTC was when Elder Ballard gave the Raise the Bar talk. My generation of missionaries was the group to make the transition from presenting memorized charlas to teaching by the Spirit. The bar was raised for MTC teachers and we started using Preach My Gospel at the same time I started teaching there. I was RSP when we changed wards in April, and am now helping with transition with FHE. I like being in transitional times...I feel like I'm making a difference, and it makes me feel like a pioneer.

I'm also making the transition to being a life-long Eat to Live girl. Before we went to Break the Fast, I prayed that I wouldn't eat anything outside of the plan. And I didn't. Friday's backslide does not define what I do from here on out. Just because the transition isn't immediate, doesn't mean I can't keep going forward. As Taylor so eloquently puts it "Today is never to late to be brand new."

Today's stats:

W: 138.8

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: roll, carrots and celery, banana and spoonful of peanut butter.

Perspective

My little brother is getting married this month. He's 22 and I'm 30. I'm a little bitter, and sometimes it's hard to be happy about it all the time. I went to my future sister-in-law's bridal shower today, and while it was going on, my car got towed. $200 later I had my car back, but called my mother crying, because I don't understand why things are the way they are. This evening I found out that one of my best high school friends lost her husband. The things I am facing are so inconsequential to what she's given to deal with. I'm praying for her.

On the ETL vein, how hard this seems depends on my perspective. If I view myself as important enough to take care of all the time, even when that means being the odd man out, I can do it. Today I passed up pizza at one bridal shower, and made sure to ask for water so that I wouldn't have to drink the sugary juice, and at the second one, I passed on the goodies too, even though I was handed a plate and had an internal debate for a minute there deciding whether or not to do it. I am important enough to take care of.

Today's stats:

W: 139.2 (I keep typing a 2 instead of a 3...I'll get there!!)

E: yoga, essentrics arms and abs, 20 minutes of run-in-place cardio

B: n/a

L: green smoothie (peaches, banana, spinach)

D: spinach, tomato, palta, mushrooms, chili

Who I am

I started watching movies/shows after midnight, and stopped at a scary point in a show. Needed something comforting, so I went to lds.org and watched a video about the youth and the temple dedication in El Salvador. I bawled. I am not meant to be less than amazing. And part of being amazing is to try again, to be better tomorrow than I am today, to keep going, keep working, keep trying. I didn't Eat to Live today. But I am a daughter of God with a work to do. Part of that is to be as healthy as I can so that I can serve more effectively. So I will do better tomorrow:

Today's stats:

W: 135.8

E: 20 minutes running in place, essentrics L/B, yoga

B: green smoothie

L: funeral potatoes, veggies with dip, roll, grapes, green smoothie

S: corn chips and hummus

D: funeral potatoes, salad with ranch, roll, several cookies

S: corn chips and chili

Just because you can doesn't mean you should!

I learn so much about myself and life and my relationship with God through my job. A few weeks ago one of my students was being an absolute pain. I asked him why he was acting that way, and he said "Because I can!" I told him that he could choose to do anything that he wanted, but that he would have consequences that he didn't like if he continued. Later that day or week, I was doing something silly...watching a waste-of-time movie late at night or something parecida...and I thought of my student and thought "Just because you can doesn't mean that you should." Sometimes I do things like that on purpose, just because I can, and I can picture Heavenly Father thinking that the consequences of that because-I-can choice will not be to my liking!

In the last few days, I've consciously noticed a couple of times where I've known I could, and chosen not to do something because it wasn't something I should do. The other night I was on netflix, and thought about watching a movie, and didn't. And tonight Beth and I went by the grocery store, after going to the temple, to buy spinach for tomorrow. We went by the hummus, and of course bought it and some chips to go with it. It was tempting to eat them when we got home, but neither of us was hungry, and store-bought hummus and corn chips don't really fit into Eat to Live, and I want to do it faithfully until January 6th! So WE DIDN'T EAT IT! Hooray! Just because it's there doesn't mean it HAS to be eaten. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Today's stats:

W: 136.2 (lowest I've been since high school probably...with the possible exception of the one time I went on a crash diet for 4 days and was soooo jealous of people eating normal food)

E: yoga, 20 + minutes of Powerstrike kickboxing, essentrics a/a (I woke up at 6:30, after only 4 hours of sleep and WANTED to get out of bed just to do essentrics...LOVE it.

B: green smoothie (strawberries, banana, spinach, soy milk, agave, cinnamon and cloves)

L: green smoothie (peaches, banana, spinach, spices)

D: brown rice and dal

Obsession?

When I'm at home, I worry about what my mom thinks of how I look, what I weigh, etc. My love language is words of affirmation, and if I'm not getting them from her, I feel like a failure.

After my recent trip home for Thanksgiving, (during which I did get affirmation, but when I asked about it), I realized that maybe I'm too obsessed with my weight and size. And I am compared to some people. However, I've been vigilant about tracking how much I weigh for a couple of years now, and I feel like I have a healthier outlook and attitude about my weight since I found Eat to Live. I weigh myself every morning and record it. I try to eat healthily each day. I enjoy my food, and I don't beat myself up about it when I slip up a little (although I am prone to binging once I start eating something less than healthy...a might as well go all the way if you're going down attitude?), and I don't get hungry. I feed and nourish my body. I try to exercise each day and I record that. That's about it. I do get self-concious when I'm around my mom. Other than that, I don't really think about what I weigh until it's time to weigh again. I do view losing weight as a successful thing, but I honestly feel like I'm treating my body the way that it's meant to be treated, and I feel good about that. Is it bad to be obsessed with being good to your body?

Today's stats:

W: 137.2

E: yoga, essentrics Legs and bum, 20 minutes of jogging in place.

B: green smoothie-strawberries, banana, spinach with cinnamon, agave, and soy milk. YUM!

L: green smoothie-peaches, banana, spinach, cinnamon and cloves. The spices make it even more delicious!

D: brown rice and dal

Avoidance

I'd rather be making HH's gingerbread scones than doing my homework... so instead of doing either, I'm blogging! I ordered the second HH cookbook today and am so excited to get it! And to have time to make more food...watch out Thursday, it's my night to cook for Beth and I! (I think I'm going to try HH's chickpea tacos and Mexican cabbage. I've been contemplating the idea of doing a Julie and Julia sort of thing by cooking all of the recipes in Lindsay's cookbooks...but that won't be officially starting until I'm done with grad school, if ever.

Today's stats:

W: 138.6

E: yoga, essentrics Arms/Abs (LOVE how it makes me feel!), 20+ minutes of hiking the Y (can't believe my friend used to RUN it every day...I have a long way to go, that sucker is STEEP!:)

B: green smoothie (peaches, banana, spinach)

L: green smoothie (banana, strawberries, spinach...I actually liked drinking my lunch. I've done it before on Fridays, but today I was able to do more work during lunch while sipping my smoothie than I can when I'm wrangling my usual salad.)

S: banana

D: brown rice and dal

Minimalist Monday

I started writing a lengthy post about how much I love Happy Herbivore (Lindsay Nixon is a genius!), and am emulating her Minimalist Monday posts, but instead, I'll be minimalist in my writing! Today was great. I'm amazed by how much energy I have when I eat to live.

Today's stats:

W: 138.4

E: yoga, essentrics L/B, 30 minutes of CA cardio

B: green smoothie

L: spinach, tomatoes, palta, chili

D: rice, dal (SOOOO yummy!)

S: corn chips (not exactly ETL, I know:( ) and delicious salsa

Choice and Accountability

In my church we have a program for every age group. All the girls ages 12-18 are in what we (very originally) call Young Women. There are several principles that we are taught as YW, and one of those is Choice and Accountability.

I know that I've remarked several times on how amazed I am that people don't notice what I eat or don't. And because I've made the choice to eat right when other people are not (partly because I'm holding myself accountable through this blog) I feel stronger in my determination and more willing to get outside of my comfort zone to make sure that I can stick to my plan. For example, tonight we had a ward indexing party. Val made amazing homemade pizza, and I made pumpkin muffins and cinnamon rolls. I didn't eat any of the sweets, and I was planning to do a green smoothie before everyone arrived and forgo the pizza too, but I didn't have time. So I asked Val to make me a part of the pizza with no meat and no cheese. She asked "No dairy?" and I explained that studies have shown that milk has cancer-causing agents too, so I'm just trying to be careful, given my rampant family history of cancer and diabetes. She was totally supportive and made me a delicious pizza! When we use our agency to do something that we know is right, we're empowered to do it again in the future, and making the right choices becomes easier and easier.

Today's stats:

W: 138.6

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: 4 pieces of vegan pizza (dough, sauce, spinach, cucumber, peppers, onions, tomatoes) and a banana

Why/Where are you running?

Today was a back-to-reality day. Surprise! I really don't have time to do everything I want to do! BUT, I've made a commitment to do cardio, essentrics, and ETL every day (only yoga on Sundays) until January 6th, and by golly, I'm going to do it! This afternoon I couldn't decide which of the evils was lesser...run, hike, or do a kickboxing video. I opted for the running, and about a 100 yards in, was loving it. I do that with so many things in my life...dread them, and then they never turn out as bad as I was dreading in my head, and often I end up enjoying them! I can do hard things! And I like to!

Anyway, as I was on the home stretch, a little girl saw me running and asked "Why are you running?" At least that's the question I responded to...I said "For fun!" and kept running. I'm glad that that's what came out first, that that was my natural instinct. Not that I want to lose weight, be healthier, or that I need some sanity in my life, though all of those are true. Running IS fun. Moving my body makes me feel better. And if I'd responded to what could have been her question, "Where are you running?," I hope that I would have said something about running home, because every time I run, I come closer to being at home with myself and my world.

Today's stats:

W: 139 by M and F's scale in the am, 140.8 by Rose's scale this afternoon.

E: yoga, essentrics arms and abs (LOVE it!) and a 13 min, 1.25 mile run

B: delicious green smoothie (soy milk, blueberries, kiwi, orange juice, banana, spinach) Thank you, Mother!

L: banana, spinach, chili, 2 roma tomatoes, 1 avocado (so I know that ETL says you should only eat an oz of palta per day, but who opens a palta and doesn't eat the whole thing?! Not me!)

S: banana and spoonful of peanut butter (again, over ETL fat allowances, but I'm doing better than I was!)

D: green smoothie (spinach, peaches, banana), brown rice with low sodium soy sauce and stir fry veggies.

I'm fixin to try for all I'm worth!

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is that Father reads short stories out loud to us. Yesterday, he read one of my favorites, The Wedding Gift, and one that I'd never heard before called This Boy Cody and His Friends by Leon Wilson. It was about a fiddling contest in Tennessee, and made me want to be better at what I do, and also to take more time for developing my musical talents. One of my favorite lines from the story was said by a man who was 93 years old, had won the contest several years running, and was asked if he was going to win again this year. He said "I'm fixin' to try for all I'm worth!" I need to have that sort of animo for grad school, but I've got it for getting in shape right now, and I really am fixin' to try for all I'm worth. I feel like I know what to do...run, essentrics, ETL, and now I need to just do it. Today went well:

Today's stats:

W: 142 lbs

E: yoga, Classical Stretch (Oceanside workout), 30 minute run/walk.

B: green smoothie (kiwi, banana, strawberry, spinach)

L: mixed veggies and sweetmeat squash

D: lettuce with beans, sweetmeat squash, mixed veggies, beets, corn

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving is a HUGE deal at our house. In that we're all HUGE by the time we're done eating! I didn't eat meat, but I did eat eggs, sugar and flour. And LOTS of it. Again, I'm amazed that people never notice what I eat or don't.

I've resolved to do Eat to Live without deviation for 6 weeks. Tomorrow is the beginning day, and my ending day is January 6th. I've started this before, and made it about 2 weeks before "cheating." But I REALLY want to get down to 130 by the end of the year. I think I can even make it to that by Ben and Erin's wedding on the 21st, if I'm fiel to the program. We'll see what my results are. When I'm committed to ETL, I lose consistently. I can and WILL do this.

Today's stats:

W: 140 (by Mother and Father's scale...144 after eating all day)

E: yoga

B: pumpkin muffins, cheese and crackers

L: potatoes, mixed veggies, squash, pie, tarts, lime pear jello, cheese and crackers, salad, etc.

D: cheese and crackers, jello, pie and whipped cream.

Less is more

I fell asleep watching a movie last night and woke up at 5am. It was beautiful to be awake at that time of day and I had a good scripture study and prayer before I got tired and wanted to sleep again. When I woke up again at 8, I actually had time to do something about this urge I've been having to simplify and get rid of things. I downsized my clothes by a trash bag, taking out things that I haven't worn for months and don't even really like. I'm sure I'll add some clothes as I get out of debt and need some more cute, warm things, but I'm not at a point where I need to own something that I don't love. And less clothes means less clutter physically and mentally. I'm excited to do the same with books (although I will probably always own more books than clothes!), files, boxes, etc. And when I'm done with my room, there are the storage rooms, etc. to do!

I'm feeling like the less is more attitude should extend to my eating habits too. I've been pretty lax about sticking to Eat to Live, eating lots of sugar and flour, and some dairy and eggs, but never any meat. But I'm at a point in my life where I shouldn't have to eat more than one bite of anything I don't love. I can try it, and pass by it if I don't like it. So many times when I think I want something non ETL, I start eating it and then realize that I don't love it, but keep eating it anyway, and then keep eating other things that I love even less. I binged today at India Palace, and even though tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a traditional binge day, I hope I can remember that I don't have room in my life and in my body for things that aren't good for me AND good to me.

Today's stats:

W: 140.4

E: yoga, 10 minute run, 10 minute walk, Classical stretch: Spanish Hallways workout

B: muffin batter, piece of pumpkin pie

L: 3 plates of vegetarian Indian food

D: 2 pumpkin muffins

S: bite of banana

Where will it lead?

I had a food hangover this morning. Not terrible, but I could tell my body wasn't super happy with what I'd fed it (nor the amount) yesterday. However, I didn't gain that much...less than 2 pounds. And I didn't even want the pumpkin pie that my kids ate as a Thanksgiving treat. However, tonight I gave in to 7 layer dip, pumpkin pie and caramel popcorn when all I really wanted was the dip. I don't need to do what everyone else is doing, and I do need to think ahead, begin with the end in mind, and think about where things will lead. Will this food choice lead me to where I want to be?

Today's stats:

W: 139.4

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: rice, stir fry, grapes

D: 2 palta, bananas, a few bites of stir fry

S: banana, 7 layer dip and chips, piece of pumpkin pie, marshmellow popcorn

Counting...

How many hours of sleep I got last night: 6 (almost unheard of for me!)

How many granola bars I ate at training today: 4

How many cinnamon rolls I ate tonight: 4

How many pounds until I make my end of the year goal: 7.8 (probably more, post cinnamon rolls!)

How much meat I ate today: 0!

Today's stats:

W: 137.8

E: yoga and essentrics arms and abs

B: green smoothie

L: baked potato with steamed mushrooms, salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, olives), bread

S: 4 nutty salty sweet bars

D: bananas, peanut butter, cinnamon rolls, 1 piece of pizza with pepperoni donated to Beth.

Moments of weakness and strength

I haven't been perfect about keeping to a strictly vegan diet, but I do pretty well most of the time, and haven't eaten any meat since starting this blog (and wasn't eating it very often for a few months before).

However, my home teachers have been wanting to make Chinese dumplings for us for a while. I've been worrying about what to do...do I tell them I'm vegetarian? Do I just eat the dumplings since they're specifically for me? What to do? I asked my mom...she and my sister have been doing ETL most of the time. She told me that they'd eaten chicken at a party the night before. I told my friend Elizabeth about it. She told me that she was vegetarian for two years, but said that she'd eat meat when people cooked for her. Yesterday I'd sort of decided that I was going to eat the dumplings, but then last night I felt like I should be true to what I'm trying to do here. So I volunteered to bring a stir fry, which offer was accepted. I helped make the dumplings, but didn't eat any. I think that Amy and Beth probably noticed, because I sat next to Amy and I was serving myself at the same time as Beth, but I don't think anyone else did, and no one cared or commented if they did.

I hope that I'm getting better at standing up for the things that I do, but as President Packer once said "Excellence does not call attention to itself." I don't think that I'm better than others because I choose to eat this way, but I do think that it's helping me define and polish myself. I'm happy to answer questions people have, but most people don't even notice or care what everyone else is eating. I'm not trying to hide, I'm just not trying to call attention to myself.

Today's stats:

W: 137.8

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: 2 bananas with peanut butter, rice and fat free vegan stir fry.

Set backs are part of life.

I ate sugar today. Lots of it. I made pumpkin muffins this morning, and made vegan HH ones for myself that turned out pretty well. However, I think that started me on a binge because I ate about 8 of them. And then at my friend's b-day party, I had candy corn, a couple of cupcakes (probably not vegan) and rootbeer....and I probably would have given in and eaten pizza with meat on it, but I had an eye doctor's appointment and had to leave before the pizza was done. The eye exam was another set back...140 ish for the exam, have another appointment next week, and my co-pay on the prescription for my ulcerated eye was $82! However, I think that the worst part is that I have to wear my glasses for a week! I do NOT like how I look in glasses ever, but especially not in these that are old and grungy and so not cute. Oh well, I'll deal. At least there is nothing seriously wrong with my eye!

Today's stats:

W: 137.4

B: green smoothie and muffins

L: grapes, apples, carrots, olives, (at a bridal shower) and cupcakes, candy, etc. (at a b-day party)

D: pumpkin chipotle soup with palta, banana

Friday blessings.

Amy and I went to the latest Twilight movie last night and I didn't get to bed until 3:30 again. It's amazing how forgiving my body is, though. I was still able to get through the day without feeling cranky or overly tired. I know eating well helps make everything better, and I'm so blessed to know about Eating to Live and having the means to be able to do it.

My eye is still bothering me. Hopefully it will heal soon. If it's not better by Monday, I'll go see a doctor. My friends Chris and Sam came over to give me a priesthood blessing, and that was another tender mercy.

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: 3 bananas, a bowl of pumpkin chipotle soup, and 2 vegan boca burgers.

Pumpkin Frenzy!

I've been making (not eating) dozens of non-vegan pumpkin muffins for family and friends. While I've been meat less for a consecutive month, and over the past 6 months have been making and eating plant-based foods, I've only tried a couple of recipes specifically targeted to the vegan world. HH's pumpkin pie shakes are delicious, and the stuffing was great too. I guess I'm scared to venture into the world of vegan baking, being much more comfortable with my usual style. However, I'm slowly acquiring some of the ingredients necessary for some of Lindsey's more complicated recipes...and some day soon I'll try them. On the pumpkin kick note...I tried a recipe for pumpkin chipotle soup. Pretty good, but not what I expected, and missing something somehow. I'll have to play with it...like in August when I'm now slated to graduate!

Today's stats:

W: 141.8 (bread and hummus binge results...threw away the rest of the hummus and am off bread until at least Thanksgiving.)

B: green smoothie (my usual of peach, banana and spinach)

L: ditto

S: three bananas

D: pumpkin chipotle soup

Getting closer to the end...

Hooray!! The semester is semi-almost over!!! Wednesdays are a bit crazy. Regardless of when I start my homework, I'm inevitably doing some of it at the last minute (for example I've done my homework for my second class during my first class on more than once...including tonight). I've done pretty well lately about planning food wise. But then after class and going to visit J, J and M, I went to the store and bought hummus, among other things. I ate it some of it with stale chips, and even the hummus itself didn't taste that great. Between thinking about those who don't have enough to eat, and my over-abundance of food, I'm wanting to be more mindful of what I eat and why. Need to do better. And not buy any more hummus! Make it or nothing.

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

S: banana

L: spinach, rainbow chili, palta, apple slices with peanut butter

D: brown rice and dal

S: hummus and stale corn chips...delish! ha ha!

Lighter and Tighter

Teaching school teaches me so much about myself when I stop to think about it...often when my students get in trouble, I tell them that they know better, and they do. I know better too. I know what makes my body, mind, and spirit feel good and what doesn't. Eat to Live, enough sleep, stretching, running, and dancing do; over-eating, eating addictive foods, not going to bed early enough, and not being active don't. I over-ate last night and could feel the repercussions of that today. I also did essentrics last night, and could feel the repercussions of that as well...feeling lighter, tighter, walking taller...LOVE it!!!

Today's stats:

W: 140.8

E: yoga, essentrics, 20 minutes of cardio (indoor intervals to Lagaan)

B: green smoothie, bread and hummus (bread HASN'T been making me feel good lately, need to stop eating it as often, or altogether.)

L: spinach, rainbow chili, few bites of apple

D: 2 bananas, brown rice, dal

S: biscuit, a few bites of pumpkin

Much too much

I've been reading about minimalism (thinking about it for a while...I have too many things!) as a result of Lindsay's (HH) post about it. Life at school has been better because I'm teaching my kids to take care of their things, and my own workspace is more organized and less cluttered. It really does help. One of the many reasons that I love Eat to Live is that it's simple. I don't need 20 ingredient recipes that take two hours to make. I don't have that kind of time or energy to invest. I love that I don't have to count calories, or think too hard about what I'm going to eat. I feel like my freedom from food drama is helping me cope with other things in my life...lots to do for school and work, and an old friend just told me today that he's liked me forever, and it's hard to tell someone you care about that it's not going to work.

Today's stats:

W:140 (I measured today too...my waist is almost at my high school measurement, and according to my skinfold, I'm at 15% body fat. The bodpod runs higher, so I'm probably around 20% really. Feels good to be making progress though.)

E: yoga, 20 minute walk with a bit of running, essentrics arms and abs (LOVE how that makes me feel!)

B: green smoothie

L: spinach with rainbow chili, grapes

S: 2 bananas, hummus, bread and tomato

D: LOTS of brown rice and dal

S: grapes and almonds

Carb-filled Sunday!!

Today I ate a TON of carbs...bread for lunch, and 5 biscuits for dinner! If Rachel followed the recipe that I have, there was margarine in the biscuits, but I didn't eat cheese, sour cream, etc. or the meat-filled chili that was available...I brought my own chili. I'm excited to do essentrics and some running this coming week!

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga

B: banana

L: bread with hummus and tomato

D: rainbow chili, 5 biscuits!!! with honey, 2 bananas, a little more hummus

Feast Day!

Wow! I haven't eaten this much for a long time...at least since the hummus binge earlier this week!:) My friend Amy made me breakfast after I'd already had my smoothie, and then we had a church activity with Thanksgiving sides where I ate, and ate, and ate. (Only vegan foods, though, I'll have you know... I didn't eat mashed potatoes or creamed corn, and made yet another triple batch of pumpkin muffins without eating a single one...getting better at this!)

Today's stats:

W: 138

B: green smoothie, oatmeal with nuts, raisins, and blueberries

L: vegan stuffing, bread with peanut butter and bananas, sweet potatoes, salad with divine miso dressing, and rolls.

S: banana

D: beans, bread with peanut butter and agave

S: bread with hummus and tomato

It's Finally Friday!

I've been feeling like I need to be completely true to Eat to Live. If I stick to it 100% until the end of the year, it will be just over the 6 weeks that Dr. Fuhrman recommends to start with. I' haven't eaten meat at all since I started this blog, and I've done well with not eating sugar or dairy at all this month. However, I've been eating hummus and peanut butter too much and too often. I can tell when something isn't as good for me, even when it's vegetarian or vegan, because I crave more and more. Eating hummus last week and this has shown me that (hummus itself isn't bad...just need to make some homemade stuff without the oils that the store bought kind has). I also need to do better about exercise: I've been faithful about doing yoga, but I need some cardio, and I need to do essentrics too. New goals to work on!

Today's stats:

W: 142.4

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: spinach, chili, tomato, 2 vegan boca burgers, grapes and a pumpkin pie smoothie.

Out of even remotely clever blog post titles tonight...

Wanted to exercise more than yoga today, but didn't...need to rearrange things and prioritize so that I can get in some cardio and some more serious stretching.

Today's stats:

W: 141.6

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: usual salad and grapes

D: corn chips, hummus, salsa, bread with peanut butter and honey.

Another Wednesday down...

Wednesdays are the days that I have class...6 hours, in the dark of the night (well, since daylight savings time kicked in, anyway!) Some of my hardest food days are Wednesdays, because I have to pack for 2 meals instead of just lunch. Today I planned ahead, but then was feeling bloated and gassy so I didn't eat more than a couple of bites of the packed meal...oh well! At least I'm getting in the habit.

Successful sharing story: I was organizing files on my computer during class tonight, when a friend saw my pumpkin smoothie recipe and asked if he could have the recipe. Hopefully he and his wife like it too!

Today's stats:

W: 143

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

S: banana

L: salad (spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, beans, avocado)

S: grapes, few bites of pumpkin

D: (after class) 2 pieces of bread with peanut butter and honey, 1 banana.

Sometimes you have to go backwards...

My wise and wonderful friend Nat once said that sometimes you have to go backwards to realize how important going forward is to you. Today was a going backwards sort of day. I ate WAY too much and then ate more because it was there and I could (didn't I just have this conversation with one of my 5th graders the other day...that just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you SHOULD!?). But in thinking about how my body feels, it felt so much better after fasting on Sunday than it does right now, after binging. No, I'm not going to start fasting every day, but I am going to be more conscientious about how much I eat, and about eating foods that I know provoke binging because they're not as good for me (i.e. hummus and corn chips!)

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: a few bites of hummus and corn chips, green smoothie (I thought about just skipping the smoothie, but couldn't bear the thought...I think I'm addicted!)

L: regular salad, plus palta

D: Bindi aloo, lots of rice, LOTS of corn chips and hummus, and probably a banana in there somewhere.

Latest addictions: running and hummus

I got up and went running this morning...I was slow and it was cold, but it was such a fantastic way to start the day! It was lightly snowing and it was light enough to see well with daylight savings time. So beautiful. I was happy and cheerful at school, probably because I had taken the time to take care of myself! :)

I ate so much hummus tonight! Delicious! I need to learn how to make it, so that I can leave out the oil that the store-bought stuff has in it.

Today's stats:

W: 137.6 (will probably be a bit more tomorrow...too much hummus!:)

E: 1.25 mile run in about 14 minutes...told you I was slow!

B: green smoothie

S: apple with peanut butter

L: spinach, chili, mushrooms, tomato

S: apple

D: a little bit of stir-fry, LOTS of corn chips and hummus, and a couple of bananas.

This is SO doable!

Today we had a get together after church to break our fast. I purposely brought chili without meat so that I could avoid the butter, sour cream, etc, but by the time I got through the line, there was one solitary bean available. I briefly contemplated doing butter and sour cream, but didn't give in. This is doable! AND, I weighed in this morning at my lowest weight in YEARS (probably haven't been this low since the summer right after I graduated high school when I gained 15 pounds in 3 months eating ramen every day!) Of course, the low weight probably had something to do with fasting, but ETL WORKS!!!

Today's stats:

W: 137.2!!! :)

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: hummus and corn chips, baked potato with broccoli, salsa, one bean, and soy bacon bits, and about three bananas!

Need to run...

I went to breakfast with a dear friend this morning who told me that I'm looking really skinny. She is too...she's using HCG, and while I'm proud of her for working at being healthier, I'm soooo grateful that I am going the natural route with my weight loss. Being a mostly-vegan and fully-vegetarian is one of the best health decisions I've ever made. Another great health decision I've made in the past is to run. It's been too long, and I need to start doing it again. Here's to the official reinstatement of the sanity run!

Today's stats:

W: 139.2

E: yoga

B: cinnamon and raisin bagel, fruit cup

L: bread with peanut butter and honey, bananas

S: green smoothie (spinach, peaches, banana)

Finally Friday!

I had a thought during recess duty this morning: maybe my weight isn't going down as quickly as it could because I'm not sleeping as much as I should. In the book Lean and Free (one of the things that prepared me for being vegetarian...) the author talks about people who were doing everything right, but not losing weight as quickly as it would seem they should. When they looked at their sleeping habits, and started making an effort to get at least 7 hours a night, they lost weight. It's something to do with the survival instinct that our bodies have, and when they are feeling threatened (not enough food, sleep, etc.) they hang on to the fat. I should give decent sleep amounts a go...if nothing else, it would make for a less cranky teacher for my students!!

Today's stats:

W: 140.6

E: yoga and ice-skating

B: green smoothie

L: salad

S: bananas, peanut butter and bread

D: steamed zuchinni, and a banana (didn't give into the meat laden delicious smelling curry everyone else had!)

S: bananas, peanut butter and honey

Keep practicing...

Tonight I had parent teacher conferences. I love them because I feel like I'm on the same page and the same team as the parents and students. Great feeling! I think the advice I gave to the kids most often tonight was to "keep practicing."

I'm in the midst of that too: Tonight while we ate the delicious PTA-supplied dinner, my roommate/co-worker/fantastic friend Amy was telling our fellow teachers that it's hard to eat at our house because I don't eat meat and she doesn't eat veggies, so she can't ever cook for me. (Not true. She made some amazing ratatouille the other day!) My principal asked if I was vegetarian, and I said "Yes, recently." She asked if it was for health reasons and I said yes. Maybe I shouldn't have added the caveat of recently on there, but I did say I'm vegetarian. And I was honest about my reasons. I'm all about treating living things with kindness, but I grew up in a farming/ranching community, and have helped raise and butcher chickens since I was little, so being vegetarian is not about animal rights for me. So I'm practicing telling people about what I do, and why I do why I do. Gotta keep practicing! :)

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga, and sister stretch night

B: green smoothie

L: ratatouille and couscous

D: 2 tortillas, beans, rice, lettuce, and pretty-sure-it-wasn't-vegan salad dressing

S: banana

Seeking some semblance of sanity...

My life is kinda crazy right now...between my church responsibilities, teaching full time, being a home owner/landlord and a grad student, I joke about having multiple lives, but it's true. I'm extremely grateful to know what to do to keep my body going strong in spite of the many sleep-deprived days. While I have had a few days of sore throat and runny nose and cold sores, I still have lots of energy and don't feel run down at all. Eating to Live makes my life more sane, gives me an anchor in the midst of the mayhem.

Today's stats:

w: 140.6 ( +.4 from yesterday...I rarely gain on an ETL day...too much dal last night?)

e: yoga

b: green smoothie

snack: bread with pb and honey

lunch: my usual salad plus palta

snack: jicama

dinner: steamed zuchinni with Mrs. Dash

snack: corn chips with hummus, salsa, and a bit of guacamole.

Good and strong and beautiful

Today I finished a book called Mockingbird. It's about a 5th grader with Asperger's syndrome, and she has to learn how to recognize and cope with emotions (hers and others'), which is hard for her. After realizing that she's asking her dad to do something that is hard for him, she goes to her school psychologist and tells her that it's time for her (the girl) to make friends. Making friends is something that is difficult for her to do. The psychologist says that she thinks the girl is going to like it. The girl replies "I don't think I'm going to like it at all. I think it's going to hurt. But after the hurt I think maybe something good and strong and beautiful will come out of it."

It doesn't really hurt to Eat to Live, to be vegetarian or even vegan. But I am giving up part of my identity with this decision...I'm part of a carnivorous country, culture, and family. Choosing to be meat-free is not "normal." So, I'm with Caitlin on this one: I think I WILL like it, but I don't think others always will and it won't be easy. I think giving up part of my identity is going to hurt, but the benefits are already outweighing the costs. And I think that I'm becoming better and stronger and more beautiful as a result of this decision.

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: spinach, tomato, chili, mushrooms, an apple with peanut butter

D: bread with peanut butter and bananas, yellow dal with brown rice.

Peer Pressure part 1,000

Like I said yesterday, I've noticed that my friends don't care what I eat, and are generally supportive of what they term my "strange" foods. However, I still fall back to my social binging habits, and let it happen again tonight. We went to Jamba Juice, and the rest of the clan ordered pumpkin smoothies. I passed because it had dairy in it (frozen yoghurt), but then Beth didn't want the rest of hers and I had just realized that I was getting a cold sore, which yoghurt is supposed to help heal, so I ate the rest of her smoothie, plus cookies, caramel popcorn and then more cookies when I got home!

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new month. I haven't eaten meat this month (since starting this journey), and next month my goal is no sugar. I think that will help with the cold sore more than the yoghurt will!

Today's stats:

W: 138.8

E: yoga + roller-skating with my students, and running around campus in a HP costume tonight!

B: green smoothie

L: spinach, chili, tomatoes, mushrooms

D: leftovers, pb and banana

S: pumpkin smoothie, animal cookies, marshmellow popcorn, more cookies, two pieces of bread with pb and honey.

Sunday, blessed Sunday

Sundays are spiritually and physically strengthening for me. It's a day to take a break from the day to day things in life and focus on my relationship with God and on helping others.

I was sad because we didn't eat the dal fast enough, and it went bad, but my chickens loved it!

Today's stats:

139.6

yoga

B and L: fasting

D: bread and tortilla with peanut butter and honey, 2 bananas, few bites of chili and spinach, pasta with tomato sauce, two pieces of garlic bread (not strictly ETL because it had margarine or butter on it).

en camino...

I'm learning (again!) that none of my friends really care what I eat and if they know about my diet, then they try to provide foods that fit within the plan. I, however, have been a social binger for years. Eat to Live has helped to cure that in large part, but tonight at a Halloween party, I ate non-vegan (still vegetarian) food, and a lot of it, because that was all that was available. I don't think anyone would have noticed or cared if I hadn't eaten anything!! Estamos en camino!!

Today's stats:

140.6 lbs (even vegan burgers and sweet potato fries can cause weight gain!)

E: yoga and 6 hours of painting a map of the US on the playground with my school students!

B: green smoothie

L: bread with peanut butter and honey, green smoothie

S: banana, cheese bread, cornmeal, caramel popcorn, bite of cake, caramels.

Eating Out

Eating out is harder and easier than I thought it would be. I went out to a burger joint tonight with my sister and cousin. All of the salads had some sort of meat and/or cheese, and I wasn't in the mood to make specifications while living in the fear that they wouldn't listen, so I opted for a Boca burger and sweet potato fries. Dinner was easy in that I wasn't at all tempted by the meaty, cheesy burgers or the key lime shakes (used to be a HUGE favorite of mine) of my dinner companions. It was difficult in that I didn't love the food that I was eating...my home-made-tossed-together Eat to Live food tastes so much better than the fat-laden fries or the processed vegan burger. Next time I'll vote for Indian or Thai!

Today's stats:

Weight: 138.2 (yes, that's over a lb and a half since yesterday!)

Exercise: yoga

Food:

B: Green smoothie (made one for my roommate...she calls it "sludge," but likes it!:)

L: Spinach, chili, mushroom, tomato, and palta (it just adds the finishing touch!)

Snacks: 3 bananas, 2 pieces of bread with honey and peanut butter.

D: Boca burger with bun, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and ketchup, and sweet potato fries.

Gentle

I've had a sore throat for the past couple of days. I was a little afraid of how my cold green smoothie in the morning would feel on it. It was surprisingly comforting, and the word that came to mind was "gentle." Eating to live is gentle and nurturing.

I teach 5th grade and have some students that deal with really rough things at home. Every day I learn more and more that the key to their hearts, and to their good behavior is being gentle and patient. And that's what my body needs too...gentleness and patience.

Today's stats:

Weight: 139.8

Exercise: yoga and a short walk

Food:

B: gentle green smoothie :)

Snack: banana

Lunch: spinach, tomato, chili, mushrooms, avocado (LOVED the avocado addition!)

Snack: banana and 2 peanut butter and honey sandwiches

Dinner: 2 palta, 2 pieces of toast, one with peanut butter and honey

planning makes...almost perfect

It's that time of the month, and my body has just been sore and tired, but less so than when I'm not eating to live! Planning ahead helped with food dilemmas. I have class every Wednesday from 4:30-10pm after a full day of teaching a class full of high-energy fifth graders. Last week I ate non-vegan chips because I didn't have anything else to eat. I find that if I give in to one thing I tend to rationalize other things. So packing meals for the whole day helped me out tremendously...and I didn't even finish all the food that I packed!

Today's stats:

weight: 140.2

exercise: yoga

food:

B: smoothie, few bites of stuffed pepper

Snack: bread with peanut butter and honey

L: banana, a few bites of salad (chili, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms)

D: dal, brown rice, grapes

Snack: rest of the stuffed pepper, banana

Success!

Today I did well with not eating the non-ETL food available. I even made non-vegan pumpkin muffins for friends and wasn't even tempted to eat them. It's amazing what you can do (or not do!) when you make up your mind! (I need to practice making vegan pumpkin muffins so that I'm comfortable enough to make them quickly and share the love!)

Another success: my sister, roommate, and I went to Walmart tonight and ran into a couple of friends. One of them said "Are you thinner? You've always been thin, but you're smaller!" She asked what I was doing and Beth said that I'm not eating meat, which I agreed with. When she asked why, I said that I feel better when I don't. Then later, when we hugged good-bye she said "There's nothing to you!" So someone else noticed my success, and I didn't tell a convenience lie about what I'm doing! ETL works! The best part about living this way is that I KNOW it's so good for me. I feel so blessed with energy and strength.

Today's stats:

Weight: 140.2 (using roommate's scale still...mine is -.2 off from hers. I'm going to keep using hers until December, when she moves.)

Exercise: yoga, 45 minute walk with Beth enjoying the beautiful fall leaves!!

Food:

B: a delicious meat-free stuffed pepper made by my roommate (couldn't wait til lunch!) and a green smoothie

L: spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, black beans, grapes

D: banana(s?) and left over salad and grapes from lunch.

Monday musings

Today was pretty good food-wise. I went a little crazy with the peanut butter (had some for lunch and a spoonful after school to try to keep me awake during study time), but that's fine.

I've been thinking about my three lives (the three main things that I do with my life: teach school, grad school, and service as a Relief Society President for my church) and am amazed and feel so blessed that I can keep going as long as I do. Yesterday was a marathon day in terms of doing things...very little downtime. Yet even as it got late, I was still excited to be out and doing, and wished I could do more. Eat to Live is truly heaven sent.

In other news, I received my new scale in the mail today. I've been using one belonging to a roommate, but she's moving out around Christmas time, and I wanted to make sure that I had a good one when she left. I'm planning to weigh myself with both tomorrow, and see how the weights compare.

Today's stats:

Weight: 141 (too many non-vegan muffins yesterday!)

Exercise: yoga (want to run later tonight...vamos a ver lo que pasa)

food:

B:green smoothie (sans the sugar that somehow ended up in my peaches on Saturday!),

L: ratatouille, couscous, banana, bread with peanut butter and honey

D: brown rice, dal, 2 bananas, spoonful of peanut butter

Learning as I go.

So eating sugar, dairy and eggs is not working out for me. I'd love to blame my most recent acne breakout purely on hormones, but I know that my inconsistency in sticking to Eat to Live is to blame as well. I need to quit trying to eat like everyone else while expecting the health (mental and physical) benefits of eating to live. So even though HH has recipes with sugar, and even though vegetarian is better than eating meat for me, it's still not enough. I need to be fiel to Eat to Live, regardless of what others are eating around me.

Today's stats:

weight: 140.6 (pizza and pie do that to you!)

exercise: yoga

food: 2 bananas, several non-vegan pumpkin muffins, ratatouille (thank you, Amy!), and a vegan pumpkin shake.

LOVELY Saturday!

I think the biggest thing that's keeping me from going vegan is social eating. I don't buy cheese or milk for myself, and I donate all of the eggs from my two chickens, Meryl and Addie, to my carnivorous roommate. But I ate a cookie today (most likely with eggs) because I had lunch with my dear friend Megan (I did pick all of the meat and cheese out of my pasta salad), and I ate 3 pieces of an avocado pie that Caitlin made for me, as well as a meat-picked-off piece of pizza when I was catching up with the season finale of Drop Dead Diva with my roommates and Caitlin tonight. I ate a lot of sugar today, and dairy, but NO MEAT! :) And I had a beautiful morning run. Heaven!

Today's stats

weight: 139 lbs

exercise: yoga, pilates, 1.25 mile run (barefoot :)

food: green smoothie, a few bites of dal and rice, pasta salad, tomatoes and cucumbers, snickerdoodle, apple with caramel, pizza without meat, 3 pieces of avocado pie, a banana

Beautiful Fall!

Today was great!! Got to sleep in, get some yoga in, organize my life a little bit...and then my sister, Beth, and I went for a gorgeous hour long plus hike up a canyon near our house. The leaves were awesome and it felt so good to move my body and to be outside. I love the way that the outdoors smells and feels. It was warm enough for short sleeves and it was great! It reminds me of a story in one of my Geneen Roth books. She reads about a spa for dogs with treadmills, etc, and thinks that dogs should be outside enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, feeling the rain or snow, etc. And realizes that people should be out enjoying nature too instead of always cooping themselves in. When I started running for the first time after high school, it was during December a few years ago (2008?), and I would go running every day regardless of the weather. Sometimes it was just me and the snow and a few cars, out slogging under the street lights that looked like the source of the snow. It was great. I loved those "sanity runs." I need to do that again....be out and breathing real air every day.

Today's stats

weight: 140lbs (not losing might have something to do with the fact that I ate 4 pieces of homemade bread last night, then came home and ate dal!)

exercise: yoga, and a beautiful fall mountain hike!!

food- brown rice and dal, green smoothie, more rice and dahl, eggplant parmesan and pasta (yes, there was cheese on e.p....need to do my homework on my food before I go out, but it was on a date, and I didn't know where we were going, so today was another veggie not vegan day)

Fall Break!

We have our Fall Break this weekend (today and tomorrow off) and it's been lovely to baby myself...sleep when I want to, eat when I want to...

I did better today about standing up for what I'm doing. My dear friend Amy made a dish that she knows I love. She's Taiwanese and makes delicious food! But this dish is primarily meat and eggs, and I told her that I'm trying to be more committed to my diet and I couldn't eat it. More sad that she went to the trouble than I am about not being able to eat it, but I'm glad that I was honest about what I'm doing food-wise today. I did say yes to my friend making me an avocado pie for Saturday. My goal this year is to be mostly vegan, always vegetarian, and to stay away from excessive sugar, so I figure a late-birthday-present-pie is okay.

Today's stats:

Weight: 140 (yes, I lost over a pound and a half since yesterday...LOVE Eat to Live!)

Exercise: yoga

Food:

bkfast: green smoothie

lunch: wheat bread with peanut butter and banana

dinner: 4 pieces of Sister Nelson's delicious homemade bread with jam, brown rice, homemade dahl (not as good as my friend Emily's, but I made it with regular lentils instead of mansoor dahl...I'll just have to keep practicing:) and a pumpkin pie smoothie.

flakey jo

So an interesting thing happened today. I made the pumpkin pie smoothies for my school class today. (Which they enjoyed:) One of our fabulous aides (whose daughter is in my class) wanted the recipe and saw that it contains soymilk. She asked if she could use regular milk, and why the recipe called for soy milk. I told her that the recipe comes from a vegan blog that I love, and she asked if I'm vegan. I said no, that I try to eat healthy most of the time, and eat a lot of vegan food, but that every once in while I just have to have meat. NOT TRUE!! I rarely crave meat, and find that when I do, I'm just hungry and I'm fine and happy after eating good-for-me vegan food. And here was my first chance to really share what I'm doing, and why, and I denied that I'm vegan. So I'm very recently, and not 100% so (see the story below), but still!

And then at class tonight I was hungry and had zero good-for-me food (woke up at 4am to do homework, taught for eight hours, did another three hours of homework and then went to class), so I bought garden salsa sun chips. Um, they have buttermilk in them. Who knew? I didn't until I read the label 3/4 of the way through the first bag. I thought about stopping there, but didn't, and finished the rest of the bag and another one (I'd already purchased both). Vegetarian is pretty easy...you can usually tell if something has meat in it right off the bat. But vegan food is more difficult to discern. I won't purposely purchase/eat milk, dairy and eggs, but I won't throw it away either. So I guess I'm part-time vegan, full-time vegetarian. This is a journey and I will continue to get better....

Today's stats:

Weight: 141.6

Exercise: yoga (this will be here everyday...it's part of my year deal. But hopefully I'll have some other things to add here for the rest of the week because Fall Break starts tomorrow!)

Food:

bkfast: green smoothie

lunch: roll with peanut butter; spinach, tomatoes, chili beans, mushrooms

snack: pumpkin pie smoothie, banana, another roll with peanut butter

dinner: Incriminating sunchips :( and I might make another smoothie tonight. So good!

Musings from yesterday and today's stats

I started blogging about my health journey yesterday on my personal blog, but wanted to choose a blog name specific to the topic at hand, and to dedicate a blog just to this journey.

I'm going vegan/vegetarian/nutritarian for year and will document my adventures here. I will copy yesterday's entry here below so that my chronicles of change are all in one place.

I did try the HH pumpkin pie smoothie last night, and loved it!! Even my roommate, who eschews healthy foods, liked it! (My green-smoothie and meat-loving sister didn't seem to as much, though) And now that sweets are outlawed at school (I teach 5th grade and try not to give out too much candy, but now it's a school rule not to at all) I told my students that we might be able to make these smoothies together for our class party. They were excited!!!

Here are today's (10/18/2011) stats:

Weight: 142.2 lbs (down a pound from yesterday...fyi: I always weigh myself in the a.m.)

Exercise: yoga in the morning, going to do a few more poses again tonight.

Food:

bkfast: green smoothie (banana, frozen peaches, spinach)

lunch: spinach, chili, tomatoes, mushrooms

snack: apple slices

dinner: a banana, FANTASTIC Indian food. (Not strictly nutritarian, as it has oil aplenty, but it is vegan)

MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2011

Health History/Day of Decision

The past few month have been life-changing in terms of health, and I've been searching for a way to document the things I'm learning, and how I'm changing. So, I'm going to give blogging a shot and see if it's a good fit for said documentation. I also want to share what I'm learning!!

Growing up, I lived on the edge of a small town in AZ, and did a lot of running around and playing. Eventually, I discovered books (still LOVE to read), and read more than ran, and began eating more of the unhealthy desserts and fatty foods than the salads that my amazing-cook-of-a-mother made. (I remember my salad-avoidance trick was to not put dressing on my salad, and then to put it back in the bowl when my parents weren't looking. Unfortunately, my sister got caught trying to do the same thing, tattled on me, and we both had to eat salad from then on.)

By third grade I started realizing that I was chubbier than many of the kids at school, but it didn't seem to faze me. I was never obese, but always had at least a few extra pounds. That phase petered out in high school, when I began running with the cross-country and track teams, and then got pneumonia at the end of my sophomore year. I graduated from high school at about 130 lbs, 5'8ish". I wore a 9/10 in jeans. At that point, I didn't exercise on a regular basis, but I was active, and didn't overeat very often. I was at a pretty healthy weight.

I moved to Montana for the summer right after high school, and eating ramen EVERY day took it's toll. I gained my freshman 15 before I ever began college! I went to school in Idaho, and working early morning custodial combined with the dark, cold, and junk-food-eating-college-lifestyle contributed to another few pounds. I think I got up to 160 at one point, but then kind of leveled out at 150-155 for the next 10 years, through the rest of college, a year and a half mission to Chile for my church (They sure know how to feed you there!!), and my first 4 years of my teaching career.

During these years, I would read Prevention, Self, First, and other magazines with weight-loss ideas/stories. I collected diet books and tried to eat more healthily. I started running and doing other forms of exercise (I love ballet, yoga, and other stretching exercises). I would set goals to lose weight, but even counting calories and running 3-7 miles 3-4 times a week would only get me down to 149lbs. Some of my diet book collection did help. The retro 80s diet book Lean and Free helped me be kinder to myself, learn about nutrition, and not give into self-loathing because I wasn't a size 6. Geneen Roth's books also helped with learning to love myself as I was (and to get rid of the rest of the diet books!)

A few years ago a friend told me that when I turned 30, I would have to watch what I ate. As I turned 29, my base weight started creeping up, and I was consistently at 157. Then, this past winter after a big meal (we are eaters in my family!) I weighed myself and was horrified to find that I was 163 lbs, more than I'd ever weighed before! (It was after a big meal with siblings and roommates, and my brother still laughs at how shocked I looked!!) I knew that I needed to do something different, but didn't know what. I'd been working out, and thought that I was doing pretty well, but I was gaining instead of losing!

Gratefully, my sister found a book called the Green Smoothies Diet, and told me about it. I looked up the corresponding website, and found Dr. Joel Fuhrman sited. I bought his book, Eat to Live, too, and it was the catalyst for change for me. I began following his eating suggestions about 80% of the time in May of this year (before I ever finished the book), and began losing weight that hadn't budged in years. I made my goal of being less than 140 lbs on my 30th b-day in August (139 counts, right?!) and have been between 138-145 since then. I'm sure that I be lighter than that if I'd been consistent.

My problem is that I haven't been consistent. Dr. Fuhrman recommends being totally dedicated to the program for 6 weeks. I make it for about 2 or so, and then something comes up and I give in to sugar or meat. Not the most heinous crimes ever committed, but when I do, I realize that these foods never taste as good as I thought they would, they make me sick to my stomach, and they don't really solve the tiredness, stress, or whatever else I want them to fix! That doesn't stop me from eating a ton of them, though, when I do give in.

I've been feeling recently that I really need to commit and see what Eating to Live can do for me. I do feel healthier, lighter, stronger, and more energetic, even though I haven't been consistent with it. I'm wearing size 4 and 6 jeans and skirts at 140 ish lbs, so I know that my body is changing, not just my weight. I've NEVER been able to wear a size 6 bottom before this summer!

I went a year once without sugar, and figure I can do that again, along with ditching the meat, and adding the focus on nutrition that Dr. Fuhrman teaches. Soooo, I'm hereby committing to Eat to Live (basically vegan) for a year. I have a lot going on (I teach full time, am a grad school student, and have a lot of time-consuming responsibilities for my church), but I am also committing to do a few minutes of yoga each day for a year, fitting in cardio, and more stretching as I can.

THIS IS MY DAY OF DECISION!!!

I will check in every few days or so and let you know how I'm doing with my goals. I found a blog the other day (www.happyherbivore.com) that I already love and know is going to help me.

My stats today:

Weight: 143.2 lbs as of this morning (big binge weekend)

Exercise: yoga in the am, going to do a few more poses again tonight

Food: bkfast: green smoothie (banana, frozen peaches, spinach)

lunch: spinach, chili, tomatoes, mushrooms

snack: grape tomatoes

dinner: so far, a banana. Planning on trying HH's Pumpkin Pie smoothie.