Avoidance

I'd rather be making HH's gingerbread scones than doing my homework... so instead of doing either, I'm blogging! I ordered the second HH cookbook today and am so excited to get it! And to have time to make more food...watch out Thursday, it's my night to cook for Beth and I! (I think I'm going to try HH's chickpea tacos and Mexican cabbage. I've been contemplating the idea of doing a Julie and Julia sort of thing by cooking all of the recipes in Lindsay's cookbooks...but that won't be officially starting until I'm done with grad school, if ever.

Today's stats:

W: 138.6

E: yoga, essentrics Arms/Abs (LOVE how it makes me feel!), 20+ minutes of hiking the Y (can't believe my friend used to RUN it every day...I have a long way to go, that sucker is STEEP!:)

B: green smoothie (peaches, banana, spinach)

L: green smoothie (banana, strawberries, spinach...I actually liked drinking my lunch. I've done it before on Fridays, but today I was able to do more work during lunch while sipping my smoothie than I can when I'm wrangling my usual salad.)

S: banana

D: brown rice and dal

Minimalist Monday

I started writing a lengthy post about how much I love Happy Herbivore (Lindsay Nixon is a genius!), and am emulating her Minimalist Monday posts, but instead, I'll be minimalist in my writing! Today was great. I'm amazed by how much energy I have when I eat to live.

Today's stats:

W: 138.4

E: yoga, essentrics L/B, 30 minutes of CA cardio

B: green smoothie

L: spinach, tomatoes, palta, chili

D: rice, dal (SOOOO yummy!)

S: corn chips (not exactly ETL, I know:( ) and delicious salsa

Choice and Accountability

In my church we have a program for every age group. All the girls ages 12-18 are in what we (very originally) call Young Women. There are several principles that we are taught as YW, and one of those is Choice and Accountability.

I know that I've remarked several times on how amazed I am that people don't notice what I eat or don't. And because I've made the choice to eat right when other people are not (partly because I'm holding myself accountable through this blog) I feel stronger in my determination and more willing to get outside of my comfort zone to make sure that I can stick to my plan. For example, tonight we had a ward indexing party. Val made amazing homemade pizza, and I made pumpkin muffins and cinnamon rolls. I didn't eat any of the sweets, and I was planning to do a green smoothie before everyone arrived and forgo the pizza too, but I didn't have time. So I asked Val to make me a part of the pizza with no meat and no cheese. She asked "No dairy?" and I explained that studies have shown that milk has cancer-causing agents too, so I'm just trying to be careful, given my rampant family history of cancer and diabetes. She was totally supportive and made me a delicious pizza! When we use our agency to do something that we know is right, we're empowered to do it again in the future, and making the right choices becomes easier and easier.

Today's stats:

W: 138.6

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: 4 pieces of vegan pizza (dough, sauce, spinach, cucumber, peppers, onions, tomatoes) and a banana

Why/Where are you running?

Today was a back-to-reality day. Surprise! I really don't have time to do everything I want to do! BUT, I've made a commitment to do cardio, essentrics, and ETL every day (only yoga on Sundays) until January 6th, and by golly, I'm going to do it! This afternoon I couldn't decide which of the evils was lesser...run, hike, or do a kickboxing video. I opted for the running, and about a 100 yards in, was loving it. I do that with so many things in my life...dread them, and then they never turn out as bad as I was dreading in my head, and often I end up enjoying them! I can do hard things! And I like to!

Anyway, as I was on the home stretch, a little girl saw me running and asked "Why are you running?" At least that's the question I responded to...I said "For fun!" and kept running. I'm glad that that's what came out first, that that was my natural instinct. Not that I want to lose weight, be healthier, or that I need some sanity in my life, though all of those are true. Running IS fun. Moving my body makes me feel better. And if I'd responded to what could have been her question, "Where are you running?," I hope that I would have said something about running home, because every time I run, I come closer to being at home with myself and my world.

Today's stats:

W: 139 by M and F's scale in the am, 140.8 by Rose's scale this afternoon.

E: yoga, essentrics arms and abs (LOVE it!) and a 13 min, 1.25 mile run

B: delicious green smoothie (soy milk, blueberries, kiwi, orange juice, banana, spinach) Thank you, Mother!

L: banana, spinach, chili, 2 roma tomatoes, 1 avocado (so I know that ETL says you should only eat an oz of palta per day, but who opens a palta and doesn't eat the whole thing?! Not me!)

S: banana and spoonful of peanut butter (again, over ETL fat allowances, but I'm doing better than I was!)

D: green smoothie (spinach, peaches, banana), brown rice with low sodium soy sauce and stir fry veggies.

I'm fixin to try for all I'm worth!

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is that Father reads short stories out loud to us. Yesterday, he read one of my favorites, The Wedding Gift, and one that I'd never heard before called This Boy Cody and His Friends by Leon Wilson. It was about a fiddling contest in Tennessee, and made me want to be better at what I do, and also to take more time for developing my musical talents. One of my favorite lines from the story was said by a man who was 93 years old, had won the contest several years running, and was asked if he was going to win again this year. He said "I'm fixin' to try for all I'm worth!" I need to have that sort of animo for grad school, but I've got it for getting in shape right now, and I really am fixin' to try for all I'm worth. I feel like I know what to do...run, essentrics, ETL, and now I need to just do it. Today went well:

Today's stats:

W: 142 lbs

E: yoga, Classical Stretch (Oceanside workout), 30 minute run/walk.

B: green smoothie (kiwi, banana, strawberry, spinach)

L: mixed veggies and sweetmeat squash

D: lettuce with beans, sweetmeat squash, mixed veggies, beets, corn

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving is a HUGE deal at our house. In that we're all HUGE by the time we're done eating! I didn't eat meat, but I did eat eggs, sugar and flour. And LOTS of it. Again, I'm amazed that people never notice what I eat or don't.

I've resolved to do Eat to Live without deviation for 6 weeks. Tomorrow is the beginning day, and my ending day is January 6th. I've started this before, and made it about 2 weeks before "cheating." But I REALLY want to get down to 130 by the end of the year. I think I can even make it to that by Ben and Erin's wedding on the 21st, if I'm fiel to the program. We'll see what my results are. When I'm committed to ETL, I lose consistently. I can and WILL do this.

Today's stats:

W: 140 (by Mother and Father's scale...144 after eating all day)

E: yoga

B: pumpkin muffins, cheese and crackers

L: potatoes, mixed veggies, squash, pie, tarts, lime pear jello, cheese and crackers, salad, etc.

D: cheese and crackers, jello, pie and whipped cream.

Less is more

I fell asleep watching a movie last night and woke up at 5am. It was beautiful to be awake at that time of day and I had a good scripture study and prayer before I got tired and wanted to sleep again. When I woke up again at 8, I actually had time to do something about this urge I've been having to simplify and get rid of things. I downsized my clothes by a trash bag, taking out things that I haven't worn for months and don't even really like. I'm sure I'll add some clothes as I get out of debt and need some more cute, warm things, but I'm not at a point where I need to own something that I don't love. And less clothes means less clutter physically and mentally. I'm excited to do the same with books (although I will probably always own more books than clothes!), files, boxes, etc. And when I'm done with my room, there are the storage rooms, etc. to do!

I'm feeling like the less is more attitude should extend to my eating habits too. I've been pretty lax about sticking to Eat to Live, eating lots of sugar and flour, and some dairy and eggs, but never any meat. But I'm at a point in my life where I shouldn't have to eat more than one bite of anything I don't love. I can try it, and pass by it if I don't like it. So many times when I think I want something non ETL, I start eating it and then realize that I don't love it, but keep eating it anyway, and then keep eating other things that I love even less. I binged today at India Palace, and even though tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a traditional binge day, I hope I can remember that I don't have room in my life and in my body for things that aren't good for me AND good to me.

Today's stats:

W: 140.4

E: yoga, 10 minute run, 10 minute walk, Classical stretch: Spanish Hallways workout

B: muffin batter, piece of pumpkin pie

L: 3 plates of vegetarian Indian food

D: 2 pumpkin muffins

S: bite of banana

Where will it lead?

I had a food hangover this morning. Not terrible, but I could tell my body wasn't super happy with what I'd fed it (nor the amount) yesterday. However, I didn't gain that much...less than 2 pounds. And I didn't even want the pumpkin pie that my kids ate as a Thanksgiving treat. However, tonight I gave in to 7 layer dip, pumpkin pie and caramel popcorn when all I really wanted was the dip. I don't need to do what everyone else is doing, and I do need to think ahead, begin with the end in mind, and think about where things will lead. Will this food choice lead me to where I want to be?

Today's stats:

W: 139.4

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: rice, stir fry, grapes

D: 2 palta, bananas, a few bites of stir fry

S: banana, 7 layer dip and chips, piece of pumpkin pie, marshmellow popcorn

Counting...

How many hours of sleep I got last night: 6 (almost unheard of for me!)

How many granola bars I ate at training today: 4

How many cinnamon rolls I ate tonight: 4

How many pounds until I make my end of the year goal: 7.8 (probably more, post cinnamon rolls!)

How much meat I ate today: 0!

Today's stats:

W: 137.8

E: yoga and essentrics arms and abs

B: green smoothie

L: baked potato with steamed mushrooms, salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, olives), bread

S: 4 nutty salty sweet bars

D: bananas, peanut butter, cinnamon rolls, 1 piece of pizza with pepperoni donated to Beth.

Moments of weakness and strength

I haven't been perfect about keeping to a strictly vegan diet, but I do pretty well most of the time, and haven't eaten any meat since starting this blog (and wasn't eating it very often for a few months before).

However, my home teachers have been wanting to make Chinese dumplings for us for a while. I've been worrying about what to do...do I tell them I'm vegetarian? Do I just eat the dumplings since they're specifically for me? What to do? I asked my mom...she and my sister have been doing ETL most of the time. She told me that they'd eaten chicken at a party the night before. I told my friend Elizabeth about it. She told me that she was vegetarian for two years, but said that she'd eat meat when people cooked for her. Yesterday I'd sort of decided that I was going to eat the dumplings, but then last night I felt like I should be true to what I'm trying to do here. So I volunteered to bring a stir fry, which offer was accepted. I helped make the dumplings, but didn't eat any. I think that Amy and Beth probably noticed, because I sat next to Amy and I was serving myself at the same time as Beth, but I don't think anyone else did, and no one cared or commented if they did.

I hope that I'm getting better at standing up for the things that I do, but as President Packer once said "Excellence does not call attention to itself." I don't think that I'm better than others because I choose to eat this way, but I do think that it's helping me define and polish myself. I'm happy to answer questions people have, but most people don't even notice or care what everyone else is eating. I'm not trying to hide, I'm just not trying to call attention to myself.

Today's stats:

W: 137.8

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: 2 bananas with peanut butter, rice and fat free vegan stir fry.

Set backs are part of life.

I ate sugar today. Lots of it. I made pumpkin muffins this morning, and made vegan HH ones for myself that turned out pretty well. However, I think that started me on a binge because I ate about 8 of them. And then at my friend's b-day party, I had candy corn, a couple of cupcakes (probably not vegan) and rootbeer....and I probably would have given in and eaten pizza with meat on it, but I had an eye doctor's appointment and had to leave before the pizza was done. The eye exam was another set back...140 ish for the exam, have another appointment next week, and my co-pay on the prescription for my ulcerated eye was $82! However, I think that the worst part is that I have to wear my glasses for a week! I do NOT like how I look in glasses ever, but especially not in these that are old and grungy and so not cute. Oh well, I'll deal. At least there is nothing seriously wrong with my eye!

Today's stats:

W: 137.4

B: green smoothie and muffins

L: grapes, apples, carrots, olives, (at a bridal shower) and cupcakes, candy, etc. (at a b-day party)

D: pumpkin chipotle soup with palta, banana

Friday blessings.

Amy and I went to the latest Twilight movie last night and I didn't get to bed until 3:30 again. It's amazing how forgiving my body is, though. I was still able to get through the day without feeling cranky or overly tired. I know eating well helps make everything better, and I'm so blessed to know about Eating to Live and having the means to be able to do it.

My eye is still bothering me. Hopefully it will heal soon. If it's not better by Monday, I'll go see a doctor. My friends Chris and Sam came over to give me a priesthood blessing, and that was another tender mercy.

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: 3 bananas, a bowl of pumpkin chipotle soup, and 2 vegan boca burgers.

Pumpkin Frenzy!

I've been making (not eating) dozens of non-vegan pumpkin muffins for family and friends. While I've been meat less for a consecutive month, and over the past 6 months have been making and eating plant-based foods, I've only tried a couple of recipes specifically targeted to the vegan world. HH's pumpkin pie shakes are delicious, and the stuffing was great too. I guess I'm scared to venture into the world of vegan baking, being much more comfortable with my usual style. However, I'm slowly acquiring some of the ingredients necessary for some of Lindsey's more complicated recipes...and some day soon I'll try them. On the pumpkin kick note...I tried a recipe for pumpkin chipotle soup. Pretty good, but not what I expected, and missing something somehow. I'll have to play with it...like in August when I'm now slated to graduate!

Today's stats:

W: 141.8 (bread and hummus binge results...threw away the rest of the hummus and am off bread until at least Thanksgiving.)

B: green smoothie (my usual of peach, banana and spinach)

L: ditto

S: three bananas

D: pumpkin chipotle soup

Getting closer to the end...

Hooray!! The semester is semi-almost over!!! Wednesdays are a bit crazy. Regardless of when I start my homework, I'm inevitably doing some of it at the last minute (for example I've done my homework for my second class during my first class on more than once...including tonight). I've done pretty well lately about planning food wise. But then after class and going to visit J, J and M, I went to the store and bought hummus, among other things. I ate it some of it with stale chips, and even the hummus itself didn't taste that great. Between thinking about those who don't have enough to eat, and my over-abundance of food, I'm wanting to be more mindful of what I eat and why. Need to do better. And not buy any more hummus! Make it or nothing.

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

S: banana

L: spinach, rainbow chili, palta, apple slices with peanut butter

D: brown rice and dal

S: hummus and stale corn chips...delish! ha ha!

Lighter and Tighter

Teaching school teaches me so much about myself when I stop to think about it...often when my students get in trouble, I tell them that they know better, and they do. I know better too. I know what makes my body, mind, and spirit feel good and what doesn't. Eat to Live, enough sleep, stretching, running, and dancing do; over-eating, eating addictive foods, not going to bed early enough, and not being active don't. I over-ate last night and could feel the repercussions of that today. I also did essentrics last night, and could feel the repercussions of that as well...feeling lighter, tighter, walking taller...LOVE it!!!

Today's stats:

W: 140.8

E: yoga, essentrics, 20 minutes of cardio (indoor intervals to Lagaan)

B: green smoothie, bread and hummus (bread HASN'T been making me feel good lately, need to stop eating it as often, or altogether.)

L: spinach, rainbow chili, few bites of apple

D: 2 bananas, brown rice, dal

S: biscuit, a few bites of pumpkin

Much too much

I've been reading about minimalism (thinking about it for a while...I have too many things!) as a result of Lindsay's (HH) post about it. Life at school has been better because I'm teaching my kids to take care of their things, and my own workspace is more organized and less cluttered. It really does help. One of the many reasons that I love Eat to Live is that it's simple. I don't need 20 ingredient recipes that take two hours to make. I don't have that kind of time or energy to invest. I love that I don't have to count calories, or think too hard about what I'm going to eat. I feel like my freedom from food drama is helping me cope with other things in my life...lots to do for school and work, and an old friend just told me today that he's liked me forever, and it's hard to tell someone you care about that it's not going to work.

Today's stats:

W:140 (I measured today too...my waist is almost at my high school measurement, and according to my skinfold, I'm at 15% body fat. The bodpod runs higher, so I'm probably around 20% really. Feels good to be making progress though.)

E: yoga, 20 minute walk with a bit of running, essentrics arms and abs (LOVE how that makes me feel!)

B: green smoothie

L: spinach with rainbow chili, grapes

S: 2 bananas, hummus, bread and tomato

D: LOTS of brown rice and dal

S: grapes and almonds

Carb-filled Sunday!!

Today I ate a TON of carbs...bread for lunch, and 5 biscuits for dinner! If Rachel followed the recipe that I have, there was margarine in the biscuits, but I didn't eat cheese, sour cream, etc. or the meat-filled chili that was available...I brought my own chili. I'm excited to do essentrics and some running this coming week!

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga

B: banana

L: bread with hummus and tomato

D: rainbow chili, 5 biscuits!!! with honey, 2 bananas, a little more hummus

Feast Day!

Wow! I haven't eaten this much for a long time...at least since the hummus binge earlier this week!:) My friend Amy made me breakfast after I'd already had my smoothie, and then we had a church activity with Thanksgiving sides where I ate, and ate, and ate. (Only vegan foods, though, I'll have you know... I didn't eat mashed potatoes or creamed corn, and made yet another triple batch of pumpkin muffins without eating a single one...getting better at this!)

Today's stats:

W: 138

B: green smoothie, oatmeal with nuts, raisins, and blueberries

L: vegan stuffing, bread with peanut butter and bananas, sweet potatoes, salad with divine miso dressing, and rolls.

S: banana

D: beans, bread with peanut butter and agave

S: bread with hummus and tomato

It's Finally Friday!

I've been feeling like I need to be completely true to Eat to Live. If I stick to it 100% until the end of the year, it will be just over the 6 weeks that Dr. Fuhrman recommends to start with. I' haven't eaten meat at all since I started this blog, and I've done well with not eating sugar or dairy at all this month. However, I've been eating hummus and peanut butter too much and too often. I can tell when something isn't as good for me, even when it's vegetarian or vegan, because I crave more and more. Eating hummus last week and this has shown me that (hummus itself isn't bad...just need to make some homemade stuff without the oils that the store bought kind has). I also need to do better about exercise: I've been faithful about doing yoga, but I need some cardio, and I need to do essentrics too. New goals to work on!

Today's stats:

W: 142.4

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: green smoothie

D: spinach, chili, tomato, 2 vegan boca burgers, grapes and a pumpkin pie smoothie.

Out of even remotely clever blog post titles tonight...

Wanted to exercise more than yoga today, but didn't...need to rearrange things and prioritize so that I can get in some cardio and some more serious stretching.

Today's stats:

W: 141.6

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: usual salad and grapes

D: corn chips, hummus, salsa, bread with peanut butter and honey.

Another Wednesday down...

Wednesdays are the days that I have class...6 hours, in the dark of the night (well, since daylight savings time kicked in, anyway!) Some of my hardest food days are Wednesdays, because I have to pack for 2 meals instead of just lunch. Today I planned ahead, but then was feeling bloated and gassy so I didn't eat more than a couple of bites of the packed meal...oh well! At least I'm getting in the habit.

Successful sharing story: I was organizing files on my computer during class tonight, when a friend saw my pumpkin smoothie recipe and asked if he could have the recipe. Hopefully he and his wife like it too!

Today's stats:

W: 143

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

S: banana

L: salad (spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, beans, avocado)

S: grapes, few bites of pumpkin

D: (after class) 2 pieces of bread with peanut butter and honey, 1 banana.

Sometimes you have to go backwards...

My wise and wonderful friend Nat once said that sometimes you have to go backwards to realize how important going forward is to you. Today was a going backwards sort of day. I ate WAY too much and then ate more because it was there and I could (didn't I just have this conversation with one of my 5th graders the other day...that just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you SHOULD!?). But in thinking about how my body feels, it felt so much better after fasting on Sunday than it does right now, after binging. No, I'm not going to start fasting every day, but I am going to be more conscientious about how much I eat, and about eating foods that I know provoke binging because they're not as good for me (i.e. hummus and corn chips!)

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: a few bites of hummus and corn chips, green smoothie (I thought about just skipping the smoothie, but couldn't bear the thought...I think I'm addicted!)

L: regular salad, plus palta

D: Bindi aloo, lots of rice, LOTS of corn chips and hummus, and probably a banana in there somewhere.

Latest addictions: running and hummus

I got up and went running this morning...I was slow and it was cold, but it was such a fantastic way to start the day! It was lightly snowing and it was light enough to see well with daylight savings time. So beautiful. I was happy and cheerful at school, probably because I had taken the time to take care of myself! :)

I ate so much hummus tonight! Delicious! I need to learn how to make it, so that I can leave out the oil that the store-bought stuff has in it.

Today's stats:

W: 137.6 (will probably be a bit more tomorrow...too much hummus!:)

E: 1.25 mile run in about 14 minutes...told you I was slow!

B: green smoothie

S: apple with peanut butter

L: spinach, chili, mushrooms, tomato

S: apple

D: a little bit of stir-fry, LOTS of corn chips and hummus, and a couple of bananas.

This is SO doable!

Today we had a get together after church to break our fast. I purposely brought chili without meat so that I could avoid the butter, sour cream, etc, but by the time I got through the line, there was one solitary bean available. I briefly contemplated doing butter and sour cream, but didn't give in. This is doable! AND, I weighed in this morning at my lowest weight in YEARS (probably haven't been this low since the summer right after I graduated high school when I gained 15 pounds in 3 months eating ramen every day!) Of course, the low weight probably had something to do with fasting, but ETL WORKS!!!

Today's stats:

W: 137.2!!! :)

E: yoga

B and L: fasting

D: hummus and corn chips, baked potato with broccoli, salsa, one bean, and soy bacon bits, and about three bananas!

Need to run...

I went to breakfast with a dear friend this morning who told me that I'm looking really skinny. She is too...she's using HCG, and while I'm proud of her for working at being healthier, I'm soooo grateful that I am going the natural route with my weight loss. Being a mostly-vegan and fully-vegetarian is one of the best health decisions I've ever made. Another great health decision I've made in the past is to run. It's been too long, and I need to start doing it again. Here's to the official reinstatement of the sanity run!

Today's stats:

W: 139.2

E: yoga

B: cinnamon and raisin bagel, fruit cup

L: bread with peanut butter and honey, bananas

S: green smoothie (spinach, peaches, banana)

Finally Friday!

I had a thought during recess duty this morning: maybe my weight isn't going down as quickly as it could because I'm not sleeping as much as I should. In the book Lean and Free (one of the things that prepared me for being vegetarian...) the author talks about people who were doing everything right, but not losing weight as quickly as it would seem they should. When they looked at their sleeping habits, and started making an effort to get at least 7 hours a night, they lost weight. It's something to do with the survival instinct that our bodies have, and when they are feeling threatened (not enough food, sleep, etc.) they hang on to the fat. I should give decent sleep amounts a go...if nothing else, it would make for a less cranky teacher for my students!!

Today's stats:

W: 140.6

E: yoga and ice-skating

B: green smoothie

L: salad

S: bananas, peanut butter and bread

D: steamed zuchinni, and a banana (didn't give into the meat laden delicious smelling curry everyone else had!)

S: bananas, peanut butter and honey

Keep practicing...

Tonight I had parent teacher conferences. I love them because I feel like I'm on the same page and the same team as the parents and students. Great feeling! I think the advice I gave to the kids most often tonight was to "keep practicing."

I'm in the midst of that too: Tonight while we ate the delicious PTA-supplied dinner, my roommate/co-worker/fantastic friend Amy was telling our fellow teachers that it's hard to eat at our house because I don't eat meat and she doesn't eat veggies, so she can't ever cook for me. (Not true. She made some amazing ratatouille the other day!) My principal asked if I was vegetarian, and I said "Yes, recently." She asked if it was for health reasons and I said yes. Maybe I shouldn't have added the caveat of recently on there, but I did say I'm vegetarian. And I was honest about my reasons. I'm all about treating living things with kindness, but I grew up in a farming/ranching community, and have helped raise and butcher chickens since I was little, so being vegetarian is not about animal rights for me. So I'm practicing telling people about what I do, and why I do why I do. Gotta keep practicing! :)

Today's stats:

W: 139.6

E: yoga, and sister stretch night

B: green smoothie

L: ratatouille and couscous

D: 2 tortillas, beans, rice, lettuce, and pretty-sure-it-wasn't-vegan salad dressing

S: banana

Seeking some semblance of sanity...

My life is kinda crazy right now...between my church responsibilities, teaching full time, being a home owner/landlord and a grad student, I joke about having multiple lives, but it's true. I'm extremely grateful to know what to do to keep my body going strong in spite of the many sleep-deprived days. While I have had a few days of sore throat and runny nose and cold sores, I still have lots of energy and don't feel run down at all. Eating to Live makes my life more sane, gives me an anchor in the midst of the mayhem.

Today's stats:

w: 140.6 ( +.4 from yesterday...I rarely gain on an ETL day...too much dal last night?)

e: yoga

b: green smoothie

snack: bread with pb and honey

lunch: my usual salad plus palta

snack: jicama

dinner: steamed zuchinni with Mrs. Dash

snack: corn chips with hummus, salsa, and a bit of guacamole.

Good and strong and beautiful

Today I finished a book called Mockingbird. It's about a 5th grader with Asperger's syndrome, and she has to learn how to recognize and cope with emotions (hers and others'), which is hard for her. After realizing that she's asking her dad to do something that is hard for him, she goes to her school psychologist and tells her that it's time for her (the girl) to make friends. Making friends is something that is difficult for her to do. The psychologist says that she thinks the girl is going to like it. The girl replies "I don't think I'm going to like it at all. I think it's going to hurt. But after the hurt I think maybe something good and strong and beautiful will come out of it."

It doesn't really hurt to Eat to Live, to be vegetarian or even vegan. But I am giving up part of my identity with this decision...I'm part of a carnivorous country, culture, and family. Choosing to be meat-free is not "normal." So, I'm with Caitlin on this one: I think I WILL like it, but I don't think others always will and it won't be easy. I think giving up part of my identity is going to hurt, but the benefits are already outweighing the costs. And I think that I'm becoming better and stronger and more beautiful as a result of this decision.

Today's stats:

W: 140.2

E: yoga

B: green smoothie

L: spinach, tomato, chili, mushrooms, an apple with peanut butter

D: bread with peanut butter and bananas, yellow dal with brown rice.