Wow.

Maybe it's because Beth has been gone, and maybe it's because I haven't had a fija schedule, but I have been such a binger lately.  I did it again today!  I keep letting one little bite, etc. be the start of this awful feeling, self-abusive binge.

Today:
S: 7 hours
W: 136.8
E: n/a
5:30 chips and salsa, bowl of Taralea's yummy butternut squash soup, bite of cute John's divine cream of broccoli soup.
6:30 spring mix, tomatoes, bowl of dal, large tastes of sweet potato chili (thank you, Katie! First recipe I've tried of hers, and it wasn't even a desert!) and fiesta chili, like 5 breadsticks (had cheese), non-vegan peach cobbler and ice cream, many Macintosh toffees.
9:30 marshmellow popcorn with Amy
12:30 fiesta chili with corn chips, ate part of a Macintosh toffee.  Beth helped me not eat the rest.  I'm starting 6 weeks (the very best I can!!! Feel like it's part of my 3 part duty right now!) right now!!!

Progress

I wasn't hungry this morning, so I didn't eat.  Doing better.  Feel like I need to be praying/striving to do my duty (thesis, serving others, nourishing my body).  Estoy ayundando por eso.  Cuando me enfoco en mi misma y lo que quiero en vez de lo que va a agradar a Dios o ayudarme servir a otros, alli me meto en problemas.  But I'm making progress.

Today:
S: 3 hours
W: 139.4
E: walk to fb game
6:30 nuts over berries salad, tuscan bean salad
7:00 banana

Vacation II...

Binged again today.  Don't even want to think about all that I've eaten today.  

Better.

I gained 7 plus pounds from yesterday to today.  Too much food last night.  I tried to do better today about eating what I needed instead of what my tiredness and stress thought that I wanted.  My new mantra:  I eat when I'm hungry and only what I need.  I'm hoping that this will help with my food issues too.  Estamos en camino

Today:
S: 5
E: pm yoga
W: 142.2
1:30 squash soup, flatbread
10:00 orange tea with agave

Vacation

I had a pretty good day eating wise until the evening, when I ate everything in sight.  Vacation from reality.  But tomorrow it won't feel good!

Battle for Freedom.

I love the hymns.  They always lift me up and give me animo for life, or comfort me.  One that has been in my head lately is Do What Is Right.  The line "Battle for freedom in spirit and might," is my favorite.

Yesterday, I had the thought that I am battling for freedom...from earth stains, from addictions.  While I know that views on what qualifies as an addiction are varied,   I think of it as anything you do compulsively and repeatedly that is harmful to you.  With that definition in mind, I definitely have food addictions.  Certain foods and moods trigger unhealthy behaviors for me.  So, by sticking to ETL as much as possible, I'm battling for freedom!!! And ETL is also a big advantage in the battle against disease, as well.

Today:
S: 5.5
W: 136.4
E: 37 minute walk with Beth, pm yoga.
7:30 banana, walnuts
12:00 spring mix, mushrooms, onions, cilantro, tomatoes, chili, grapes
3:40 grapes
5:30 honey popcorn (tried it without the peanut butter...not fantastic, but ok)

Monday.

I have been tired and easily annoyed/frustrated today.  Not good when JA is going to be here tonight, and I'm unofficially in charge of ward FHE as well.  I'm sure it will all turn out right.  I just need to look on the bright side of things, and there are so many good things.  Today, as we were coming in from recess, I was frustrated by the noise level of the students behind mine, and when we got into the classroom, little R. said "Teacher, you look like you are mad." I said that I was tired and frustrated.  Someone (K?) responded "Why?! Don't we make you happy?"  I laughed, and said that they did. And it's true, they do.  They are among my best and brightest blessings.  How lucky am I to get to hang out with 24 amazing kids every day, and learn new things with them?!

Today:
S: 6 hours?
W: 138.8 (obviously need to work on implementing my rules and live foot plans!)
E: tiny bit of am yoga with my kids, pm yoga
7:30 banana and walnuts
12:00 spring mix, tomatoes, mushrooms, cilantro, onions, chili, orange
4:30 rainbow chili, grapes, piece of bread with peanut butter and honey