I choose to change.

Yesterday was not a good day because I didn't make good choices.  It took institute and talking to my parents to pull me out of my psuedo-rebellious funk.  Today has been great, because I choose to change.  I say choose rather than chose, because it's not a one-time thing.  Choosing the better part (to repent and change) is a hard choice, an every day choice.  I'm grateful I changed today's actions for the better.  AND, I got to work my first temple shift. What could be better than spending 5 hours in the temple?  I also got to spend time with my roommates, but the movie that we watched wasn't fantastic.  I vote that next time we just do dinner or something where we can talk.

Today:
W: 140 lbs
E:  14 minute run (1.25 miles...slow, but moving!), essentrics a/a, pm yoga
B: orange, banana, walnuts (I've long loved nuts and bananas together, but the orange with the walnuts is also fantastic...Christmassy, somehow.  So I have both!)
L: 1/2 green smoothie (spinach, bananas, blackberries...delicious)
D: n/a

Habits.

Tonight after institute I went to Walmart.  While I was standing in the checkout line, a cute little boy (latino...made me miss my school kids!) picked up a toy cell phone and started talking into it.  I think he just said goodbye, and then it sort of looked like he was trying to take a picture with it.  He was so little and so cute, and watching his actions reminded me of how much kids pick up on.  I've been doing things (skipping workouts, staying up too late, wasting time, avoiding things that need/ought to be done) that I don't want my kids to pick up on.  I need to start changing now.  I'm going to go read my conference talk and get ready for bed, and be there by midnight.  I choose to change.

Today:
W: 138.2
E: pm yoga, pilates
B: n/a
L: bread, olive oil, herbs, pasta sostanza, Italian salad
D: n/a

No schedule=no progress

Totally back-sliding day today.  Didn't exercise, ate a lot.  Mostly because I stayed up late and didn't stick to the schedule.  Better tomorrow.

Today:
W: 137.6
E: pm yoga
B: orange, banana, walnuts
L: spring mix, chili, mushrooms, tomatoes, palta, banana
D: cucumbers with vinegar and sesame seeds, walnuts and raisins
S: 3 pieces of bread with peanut butter and honey.

Live and learn

I totally binged last night (and gained 5 pounds in the process!)  This morning I was able to run and do essentrics, but I've been kind of "blah" and dragging, and cloudy-headed the whole day.  Eat to Live is the way to go.  I know that, but it's doubly reinforced when I don't live it.  Yuck.

In other news, I successfully defended my prospectus today!  On to the next step!  Hooray for progress!!!

Today:
W: 140.6
E: 14 minute run (1.25 miles?), essentrics a/a
B: orange, banana, a few walnuts
L: half a green smoothie (spinach, 2 bananas, frozen blueberries)
D: the other half of the smoothie

I'm just a girl who can't say...

"No!"  I'm getting better at it, but I still really stink at it.  The worst are the times (like today) when I should say no to myself (or "that's enough!") and I don't.  And I still think that I'm afraid of what I could and should be physically.  Self-sabotaging baby.

Today:
W: 137.6
E: am yoga
B and L: ayunando
D: salad, pasta sostanza, 3 or 4 rolls, 2 pieces of non-vegan, but uber delicious apple spice cake.

Worshipping.

Bob Bullough's comment at our grad student conference on Thursday about how when we study, we worship has stuck with me.  And I've come to the conclusion that anytime we do something that is pleasing to God, helping us feel His love, or become more like Him, we're worshipping.

So when I eat right, or get enough sleep, or read my scriptures, or think kindly of someone, or choose to love, or go on a beautiful hike with ward friends, I'm worshipping.  We hiked Stewart Falls today, and it was lovely.  Soooo good to be outside!  And with people.  I've been in my room all week working on thesis things, and people are a great novelty to me right now!  I was happy to be able to worship with friends in that way today.

And I talked about Eat To Live with Michelle and Bethany.  I try to avoid being preachy, but when someone asks, or if it naturally comes up, I'm happy to share what I do, and why I do it.

And I finally did some worshipping in the form of studying, this evening. :) (Also snuck in some music worshipping too!)

Today:
W: 137.2 (was it the tortillas or the later eating I wonder?...usually if I lose a little, I keep it off unless I binge, but I'm still not doing too bad!:)
E: essentrics a/a & l/b (to make up for not doing it at all yesterday), and Stewart Falls hike.  My knee didn't hurt at all!  So blessed!
B: 2 cups green smoothie
L: wheat tortilla with refried beans,  grape tomatoes, orange, watermelon
D: 2 bananas, spoonful of peanut butter, 1/2 quart of green smoothie.

That which does not satisfy.

I stayed up until 4am watching Melissa and Joey, and parts of random movies, and reading some Fat Cat, instead of going to sleep like a sensible person.  It's almost like I'm afraid of too many too good days.

One of my scriptures this morning (actually I got up at noon, so this afternoon) called me to repentance:
2 Nephi 9:51 "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy."

I've spent too much time in my life on things that don't satisfy.


Today:
W: 135.2
E: pm yoga
B: n/a
L: 2 corn tortillas with refried beans, a roma tomato, an orange and a banana
D: rest of the can of refried beans, a few walnuts, green smoothie (spinach, bananas, lots of frozen blueberries)