Yikes. I ate sushi again today. It was delicious. I can live without hotdogs, hamburgers, steak, etc, and I'm sure I could without sushi too, but I'd rather not. I go back and forth about being vegetarian or not. I'm not right now, obviously, but I made it 8 months without meat without really missing. Maybe this doesn't have to be an all or nothing gig (not that I've ever done pure ETL ever...what would happen if I really did?). Maybe I just stick to the "mostly vegan" deal, and eat as nutritarian oriented as I can with a cheat day every now and again. Being vegan or vegetarian doesn't necessarily equal being healthy, as I've proved by over-eating, and eating cookies, etc. All I know is that I feel better when I eat to live, but I'm not sure I need to be so strict about veganism (ya que no estoy 100% con ETL) Maybe nutritarian/mostly vegan/reasonable serving sizes would do the trick. I don't know. Estamos en camino. Siempre.
Today:
W: 144.6
E: pm yoga
B: n/a
L: sushi with Carol Lynn
D: n/a
Saturday, July 7, 2012
What we could have been...
Amy and I were talking tonight and something she said stuck out to me. Being the brilliant brain that I am, I can't remember now exactly what it was, but it was something along the lines of thinking about relationships past and thinking about what we could have been.
I keep sabotaging myself recently. Can't seem to go more than a day without cheating. I ate sushi again today. And I really could have not eaten fish if I'd really wanted to. There's always a way when you decide. I also ate dairy and sugar. I'm not becoming who I could be, who I should be right now in the eating and exercising department. And I never feel good after eating non ETL. Ever. Time to change. Again.
Today:
W: 141.2
B: banana, walnuts
L: sushi
D1: white bean tuscan soup, bread at Zupas
S: fruit and punch at Angie's bridal shower
D2: dip and chips and salsa, pasta with veggies and TONS of oil, key lime cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory.
D3: leftovers.
I keep sabotaging myself recently. Can't seem to go more than a day without cheating. I ate sushi again today. And I really could have not eaten fish if I'd really wanted to. There's always a way when you decide. I also ate dairy and sugar. I'm not becoming who I could be, who I should be right now in the eating and exercising department. And I never feel good after eating non ETL. Ever. Time to change. Again.
Today:
W: 141.2
B: banana, walnuts
L: sushi
D1: white bean tuscan soup, bread at Zupas
S: fruit and punch at Angie's bridal shower
D2: dip and chips and salsa, pasta with veggies and TONS of oil, key lime cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory.
D3: leftovers.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
My Simple Duty
Today I tried to not eat too much. I ate cheese and dressing on my salad at Olive Garden with Kylee, but didn't binge, and didn't eat more than I needed. It felt good. Sometimes the progress that I make is so minimal, and I keep falling down, that I wonder why I can't be more consistent. But I am growing, and getting better.
K had part of the following quote as her signature quote on the last email she sent me, and I loved it. I tried to do my simple duty today, and it went well! :) It also helped that I took time to read my scriptures and my conference talk. Feeding my soul helps me avoid stuffing my face in compensation.
"...this Helper who will, in the long run, be satisfied with nothing less than absolute perfection, will also be delighted with the first feeble, stumbling effort you make to-morrow to do the simplest duty. As a great Christian write (George MacDonald) pointed out, every father is pleased at the baby's first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son. In the same way, he said, 'God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy.'"
Today:
W: 143
E: hour long stroll with Beth and Val, pm yoga
B: banana, walnuts
L: 2 breadsticks, salad, minestrone
D: rice, pumpkin curry, banana
K had part of the following quote as her signature quote on the last email she sent me, and I loved it. I tried to do my simple duty today, and it went well! :) It also helped that I took time to read my scriptures and my conference talk. Feeding my soul helps me avoid stuffing my face in compensation.
"...this Helper who will, in the long run, be satisfied with nothing less than absolute perfection, will also be delighted with the first feeble, stumbling effort you make to-morrow to do the simplest duty. As a great Christian write (George MacDonald) pointed out, every father is pleased at the baby's first attempt to walk: no father would be satisfied with anything less than a firm, free, manly walk in a grown-up son. In the same way, he said, 'God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy.'"
Today:
W: 143
E: hour long stroll with Beth and Val, pm yoga
B: banana, walnuts
L: 2 breadsticks, salad, minestrone
D: rice, pumpkin curry, banana
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy Independence Day!
I had a lovely, lazy day. So grateful to live in this amazing country!
Today:
W: 141.8 (amazing what happens when I only eat what I need!)
E: n/a
B: banana, walnuts, cinnamon raisin bagel
L: dal, rice, cherries, carrots, hummus, bananas, 3 pieces of bread with pb and strawberry jam
D: pumpkin curry, rice, bananas, orange
Today:
W: 141.8 (amazing what happens when I only eat what I need!)
E: n/a
B: banana, walnuts, cinnamon raisin bagel
L: dal, rice, cherries, carrots, hummus, bananas, 3 pieces of bread with pb and strawberry jam
D: pumpkin curry, rice, bananas, orange
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
"Fill our Hunger"
One of my favorite hymns has a line that says "Fill our hunger with Thy love." That's the only way to go, really. Like I said yesterday, I keep trying to fill the hole in my heart with food, and it never works! It only gives me unpleasant side effects (I woke up this morning convinced I had a huge stretch mark on my hip from last night's binge...luckily it was just a mark from my waistband digging in, but still!) and distances me from God.
I have a pretty lofty weight loss goal...I want to be at my goal weight by my birthday in a little over a month. I've been trying to lose these last few pounds since last year's b-day (I'm at about the same weight I was in August of last year, when I'm not binging, but it has gotten a lot easier to get below 140.) and haven't done it. I keep self-sabotaging.
Here are some things I'm going to do to help myself heal, to let Heavenly Father fill my hunger with His love:
Take it one day at a time. Not focus on the pounds que me quedan, but on how I'm feeling and healing.
Pray for help when I'm weak. I need to work on feeling closer to God.
Use music as a therapy. Listen to it when I'm tempted to turn to food for comfort.
Say no. To eating when I don't need/want it. To staying up too late. To other things that don't nourish me.
Keep going. Treating my body with kindness is an area I've made a lot of progress in, and one in which I have a lot more room to grow.
Today:
W: 145
E: 30 minute + walk/run/hike, ess 1/b and ess a/a
B: n/a
L: n/a
D: rice, dal, banana
I have a pretty lofty weight loss goal...I want to be at my goal weight by my birthday in a little over a month. I've been trying to lose these last few pounds since last year's b-day (I'm at about the same weight I was in August of last year, when I'm not binging, but it has gotten a lot easier to get below 140.) and haven't done it. I keep self-sabotaging.
Here are some things I'm going to do to help myself heal, to let Heavenly Father fill my hunger with His love:
Take it one day at a time. Not focus on the pounds que me quedan, but on how I'm feeling and healing.
Pray for help when I'm weak. I need to work on feeling closer to God.
Use music as a therapy. Listen to it when I'm tempted to turn to food for comfort.
Say no. To eating when I don't need/want it. To staying up too late. To other things that don't nourish me.
Keep going. Treating my body with kindness is an area I've made a lot of progress in, and one in which I have a lot more room to grow.
Today:
W: 145
E: 30 minute + walk/run/hike, ess 1/b and ess a/a
B: n/a
L: n/a
D: rice, dal, banana
To make a hole in it...
When I'm on a binge, sometimes Audrey's nonsensical answer makes perfect sense. I can't make a hole in my emotions with food, but I sure keep trying.
Today:
W: 141.4
E: 15 minute run
B: banana, walnuts
L: spring mix, fiesta mix, mushrooms, orange
D: bananas, raisins
S: hummus, carrots, chips, chili, cookies
Today:
W: 141.4
E: 15 minute run
B: banana, walnuts
L: spring mix, fiesta mix, mushrooms, orange
D: bananas, raisins
S: hummus, carrots, chips, chili, cookies
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Choosing Hope.
Today's RS lesson was on choosing hope. I went to the family ward today for the first time. I don't think I've ever felt so single in my life. It's going to be a tough gig, but I already know some people, and can see people I can serve. Hamish's little sister drew my henna tattoo! :) I thought about starting a new blog called "I'm single and I know it!" but I'm choosing to believe that my principe azul will arrive sooner rather than later, and that there is no long-term need for a blog so named!
I'm also choosing hope in my eating choices. Chris came over tonight and was telling us about his diet. I don't agree with everything he does, but I find eating choices fascinating, and believe that we all need to figure out what works for us. Plant-based works for me. I feel better, happier, stronger, more spiritual and loving when I eat to live. It works for me. So I choose hope each time I make food choices in line with Eat to Live.
At Break the Fast (where I ate Susie's delicious pickles, and watermelon!), Spencer took a picture of my plate. Later, when I was eating again, my food looked pretty, so I decided to take a picture of it! Maybe this will become a trend, maybe not.
Today:
W: 143.6
E: am yoga
B: ayunando
L: ayunando
D1: pickles, watermelon, banana, walnuts
D2: 2 corn tortillas with refried beans, chipotle pepper (just a dab...so delicious!), cilantro, grapes, banana.
I'm also choosing hope in my eating choices. Chris came over tonight and was telling us about his diet. I don't agree with everything he does, but I find eating choices fascinating, and believe that we all need to figure out what works for us. Plant-based works for me. I feel better, happier, stronger, more spiritual and loving when I eat to live. It works for me. So I choose hope each time I make food choices in line with Eat to Live.
At Break the Fast (where I ate Susie's delicious pickles, and watermelon!), Spencer took a picture of my plate. Later, when I was eating again, my food looked pretty, so I decided to take a picture of it! Maybe this will become a trend, maybe not.
Today:
W: 143.6
E: am yoga
B: ayunando
L: ayunando
D1: pickles, watermelon, banana, walnuts
D2: 2 corn tortillas with refried beans, chipotle pepper (just a dab...so delicious!), cilantro, grapes, banana.
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