Live foot plans.

Elder Walter F. Gonzalez spoke today in the am session of General Conference.  He said that iniquity hampers our ability to see and love others.  I've known that abusing my body isn't good, known that it's against what God would have me do, and have at times, thought of it in terms of being a sin, but there have been several times in the conference this weekend that I have been reminded of that, and Elder Gonzalez's talk was one of those.

I need to eat to live forever.  And self-abuse, in any form, is a sin.  If it's not helping me feel closer to Heavenly Father, if it's not helping me see and love others, then it's not right, and I need to change.  I need to come up with some live foot plan things specifically for eating.  Live foot plans are to keep us on the right track when we're tempted, and so should be just as applicable for temptation to self-abuse as for any other sin.

Here are some ideas: pray, music (sing or listen or play), create, stretch, breathe.

Today:

S: 7 hours

W: 136.4

9:30 banana, piece of pear

12:00-2:00 2 bananas, pickings of peaches, dough, pasta sostanza
5:00 peanut butter and honey sandwich
5:40 rainbow chili, corn, 2 pieces of bread with jam, biscuit, grapes
9:00 2 pieces of bread with pb and honey, bread with palta, 2 bananas (maybe 3) 

Conference

I sure love General Conference.  It helps me know what to do and how to do it, and also helps me feel my Savior's love.  Today I was taught and reminded of many things, but one thing related to this blog was the repeated doctrine that we need to be worthy of the Spirit.  Taking care of my body helps me be closer to the Spirit.  Which is why eating this way is so important to me.  Need to work on portion sizes...gaining 8 pounds in 2 days is not exactly healthy.  I know it's just because I've eaten so much and am so full, but I don't feel as good or as close to the Spirit this way.

Today:
S: ?
W: 138.4
E: 20 minute 2 mile run (hill included), pm yoga
2:00 banana, walnuts
6:00 spring mix, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, chili, banana, grapes, part of an orange, bread with pb and honey
7:00 pb and honey popcorn

Growing

I gave my first official research presentation today.  It went pretty well.  Stefinee didn't give me any real feedback, said I did good work and that we'd need to include more of the PD dimension in my thesis, but several people from other schools seemed to really like it, and I actually enjoyed doing it.  I think that one of the things that I've learned from grad school is to be calmer in new situations.  I still don't know if I want to do a PhD or not (and don't think that I should do it around family, or if I have a family), but I know that grad school has helped me grow, and that Heavenly Father will guide me to those things that I need to do for further growth, and HIS plan A.

Today:
S: 7 plus
E: n/a
W: ?
12:00 salad with vinegarette dressing, pasta salad, 2 pickles
3:15 grapes, pear, strawberries
7:00 spring mix, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, chili, banana
9:00 banana, 3 pb rollups.
12:00 granola, soy milk, agave
1:00 granola, soy milk, agave

What do I want?

I spent the day at the NRMERA conference.  Stefinee wants me to do other conferences and see if it's something I want to do more of.  She says I need to find out if the academic conversation is interesting enough to sustain me, to see if I like presenting, etc.  If today is any indication, the answer is no.  While I greatly appreciate what these men and women are doing, it's mainly because I want to be doing the best thing I can for my students, IN THE CLASSROOM.  If I don't get to be a stay-at-home-mama, I want to be an in-the-classroom-teacher.
I also want to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. (Said no to cookies, and ate vegetarian today, but there was cheese on my pasta tonight...I never think to ask about garnish cheese! and I ate fries).  And this posh lifestyle...so not my scene.


Today:
S: 5 hours
E: n/a
W: 134
7:00 banana
12:00ish salad with vinegarette dressing, fruit salad with mint sauce (x2), 2 pickles and 2 servings of veggie pasta salad
3:00 nuts and a banana
6:00 crackers, cucumbers, and carrots
8:00 penne pasta with marinara sauce (had cheese on top)
9:00 Stefinee's McDonald's fries.

Healing.

I've decided that counting is futile.  I haven't been doing ETL for real anyway, and there is always going to be something that comes up (NRMERA conference, trip to JA's house) that will make it so that it's difficult to be 100% ETL. 100% vegan or vegetarian I can do most of the time, but it's going to be difficult to do ETL.

I'm going to try not counting the days, just to focus on healing my body as much as possible.  Beth is doing the 6 week plan.  I plan to stay mostly vegetarian/vegan forever.  And I'll see if I can get down to my goal weight by Thanksgiving.  I think that I've been thinking if I do this right for 6 weeks then I won't have to work at it any more.  But I need to really commit, to be in this for the long haul, regardless of what my weight does, because I feel SO MUCH BETTER eating plant-based.  This afternoon when I ate my salad, it was like I could FEEL the goodness coming into my body.  Food, real food, is healing, and that's what I've got to focus on.

Today:
S: ?
W: 136.4 (yes, I can gain 5.4 lbs in a day!)
E: 30 minute walk/run with Beth, essentrics a/a
12:00 usual salad, banana
3:40 grapes

Day 23: 6 weeks of freedom!

So, I've been counting days, and losing weight, but I've not been true 100% to Eat to Live.  And I want to be.  Beth does too, so we're beginning again tomorrow.
Most of the time I'm fine, but I need some better stress-coping techniques.  I totally binged tonight, and feel awful.  I sure don't feel good eating too much, or eating trash food.  Better tomorrow.  Here's to 6 weeks of freedom!!!

Today:
S: 6.5
W: 131
E: 36 minute walk with Beth
7:30 banana, walnuts
12:00 spring mix, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, cilantro, chili, grapes
3:50 grapes
5:15 2 bananas, 2 peanut butter and honey rollups
6:00 bread, basil, olive oil, minestrone (most likely with beef broth), pasta sostanza
7:00 veggie coconut korma
7:40 caramel stripe cookies (finally told myself no more, after way too many of them!)

Day 22: Progress

Lindsay's newsletter the other day said to strive for progress, not perfection.  While perfection is the aim, I am not perfect, and am grateful for signs of progress in spite of that!

My thesis is coming...and I'm closer to being ready for Friday's NRMERA presentation.  And in spite of weighing exactly what I did last Monday (due to my Sunday afternoon binge, I'm sure), I've lost 2 inches, and am feeling more muscle and less looseness on my legs and abs.  I think I'm doing better with my attitude towards this all, too.  In days past I have gotten mad or frustrated or felt defeated when I wasn't making as much progress as I'd anticipated.  This morning I knew that I hadn't lost, but was happy that I know what to do and how to do it to get back on track, and I know that I need a break every once in a while, and that the breaks won't kill me or cause me to fail.  Feliz.

And I realized that I'm half-way done with my 6 weeks!  Crazy how fast it goes!  So happy to be plant-based!

And on our walk tonight, Beth said she wants to do the 6 weeks for real.  So proud of her and the progress that she is making!

Today:
S: 6.5
W: 131.4
E: essentrics a/a, 37 minute walk with Beth
6:30 banana with walnuts
8:15 grapes and a banana
12:00 spring mix, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, chili, grapes
3:50 grapes