Failing.

I'm afraid of it.  So I avoid situations that are difficult for me.  Because it's easier to have never tried and fail that way than to really try and come up lacking, not enough, behind, failed.

I think I've blogged about this before.

So I find things to distract me so that I don't have to face my fears, and can drown my self-doubts and hide from myself and my weaknesses and strengths.  So I don't have to own up to my failures or successes.  So I can just blend in with the mediocre masses instead of doing what I'm meant to do, and being who I'm meant to be.  Totally living below my privileges here.

I've been avoiding chapter 2 of my thesis.  Don't want to do it.  But it needs to be done, so I'll try.  And probably fail the first 5 times.  But I'll keep trying.  Because I'm a glutton for punishment that way.

Today:
W: 143.2
E: pm yoga
B: orange
L: green smoothie
D: spinach with fiesta mix and mushrooms, an orange.