How do you commit to something for life? I'm still full time vegetarian, and I haven't eaten anything non-vegan today, but I binged. It's been a life-long habit...I remember when I was young, my cousin and I once ate so much that we had to sit on the floor, just clutching our distended stomachs and groaning in pain because we were so full. I've used food as a crutch when I'm lonely, or don't want to do something I need to do, or when I need or want to stay up to finish something when what my body really needs is sleep, or when I'm in a social situation and I feel like I have to keep eating because I'm out of things to say, or I feel like I'll somehow be deprived if I don't eat as much, if not more than anybody else. However, when I eat like that, I'm never really satisfied. It doesn't make me feel good emotionally, physically or spiritually. Lately, though, it seems easier to do...stressed with finals, I know, but still!
So, I'm going to pray for help to Eat to Live. I have upon occasion, but it's more often thanking Heavenly Father for helping me find ETL, or asking for help to lose weight. I can't force my body to lose weight, but I can provide the conditions that will lead to optimal health, and thus probably more weight loss. I also wonder if I'm afraid of success...It seems like every time I get to a new low on weight, I have a binge day. I need to quite sabotaging myself, quit trying to get happiness from something that can't bring it. I need to be fit to serve.
Today's stats:
W: 138.8
E: yoga
B and L: green smoothies
D: spinach, salsa, mushrooms, chili beans, banana
S: corn chips, hummus (2 packages), piece of bread with pb and agave/honey, 2 cookies
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